Open Post: Hosted By Brooklyn Beckham And Nicola Peltz’s Pre-Wedding Match Game
Hot off the heels of their Valentine’s Day cooking video for Vogue, Brooklyn Beckham and Nicola Peltz have proven once again that love is not only blind, it has no taste at all. Seriously, I’m afraid their relationship is suffering from long COVID, because while playing a game called Mr & Mrs for British Vogue, Brooklyn and Nicola made me question if they’d lost their sense of taste and smell. I don’t know how else to explain the utter blandness and banality of their presentation, which emitted nary a whiff of irony or wit. Don’t get me wrong, there were fumes alright, but I don’t think we can put all the blame on the Sharpies they were writing with. I think their brain cells were already in trouble.
According to British Vogue:
Ahead of their star-studded wedding, soon-to-be newlyweds Brooklyn Beckham and Nicola Peltz sat down to play Mr and Mrs with Vogue. From Brooklyn’s most embarrassing memory to Nicola’s fantasy honeymoon destination, who made the first move in their relationship to their shared love of ‘Gilmore Girls’, the future husband and wife go head-to-head to find out who knows the other better.
OK, are you ready? Are you sitting on the edge of your seat? Good, now look down and make sure you’re not sitting on Elmo’s lifeless corpse like Nicola is in this video.
As riveting as their love is, don’t feel too bad if you didn’t receive an invite to the wedding this weekend. For one thing, it’s being held at Nicola’s parents’ $100 million estate in Florida. For another thing, the last time Vogue sent an entire crew to film the couple, they were dead set on serving either “an espresso martini, lychee martini, or elderflower martini,” as their signature drink. No need to go all the way to Florida and risk bumping elbows with Tom Brady, I’m pretty sure you could get something just as nice at your local Ruby Tuesday. But the biggest reason you’re not missing out on anything is that with Vogue in their back pocket, we’re sure to get another insipid interview all about their magical $4 million nuptials, and all the artsy black and white photos that the favor of an American heiress and a humble English chef can buy.
Pic: YouTube