Open Post: Hosted By Paula Patton’s Struggle Fried Chicken

April 5, 2022 / Posted by:

I guess we can safely assume that Robin Thicke didn’t write a whole ass album to try to win his ex-wife Paula Patton back because he missed her cooking. In a recent video she shared on Instagram, Paula bungled fried chicken so badly she’s had to turn the comments off. Not sure if she did that on her own accord, or if the CDC, the FDA and OSHA got together to form a coalition forbidding her from disseminating any further information about how to make a home incendiary device that will also give you salmonella.

Today is a sad day for us lightskin mixed girlies, because Paula is out here making us look a complete mess. According to The Source:

Every household has its do’s and dont’s in the kitchen. It seems as though Paula Patton is getting roasted online following her homemade fried chicken recipe. The successful actress is known for roles in movies such as 2 Guns, Mission: Impossible, Ghost Protocol, and more posted a video to Instagram where she shows fans how she gets down in the kitchen.

The 5-minute video tutorial, posted last month, has made its rounds on social media, going viral on TikTok after social media users reposted the video with some questions.

Social media users teased how the ex-wife of Robin Thicke prepared her chicken. In a viral clip circulating the internet, Patton puts her chicken into the hot oil and then adds her seasonings while the chicken is in the pot. Patton also shared that she likes her fried chicken to be a bit “salty,” which drove the media into a frenzy.

Here’s the clip that’s gone viral. Paula would have been better off hiring a ghost chef like Brooklyn Beckham. Because, even if you’re not a cook yourself, it’s obvious from the beginning that Paula has heard the phrase “yum, so good!” exactly zero times in her natural-born life.

You can see the full video Paula posted here, but this woman’s TikTok sufficiently addresses the cookery issues. However, Paula’s mistakes began and ended at Whole Foods. Organic black pepper but Lawry’s seasoned salt? Why is she using tiny ass bottles of expensive avocado oil to burn her spices in? Honestly, the number of questions raised by this video is only eclipsed by the number of apologies due. To Harriet Tubman, I am truly sorry. I know this is not the eventuality you imagined when you famously cried “we out!” Paula should have just sat there and eaten her rice even though that shit was probably burnt and raw at the same time. She deserves worse for the crimes she’s committed.

Pics: Instagram

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