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April 4, 2022 / Posted by:

The Soul-Destroying Goldfish Jingle!

Believe it or not but the most annoying sound that terrorized eardrums during last night’s Grammys was NOT Justin Bieber’s yodel. It was the sound of the insufferable jingle that tap-danced on everyone’s nerves in spiked shoes during the commercial breaks between the Grammys. It played several times last night. So every time I would finally fall to sleep from watching the coma-inducing Grammies, I’d wake up from the sound of that torturous jingle punching at my ear holes.

In the Goldfish commercial that can be used as a torture device, an annoying jingle plays over and over and over again as different lyrics pop up on the screen. The commercial asks people to submit their own lyrics to go with that irritating ass ditty. Here’s what those evildoers wrote about their #GoldfishJingle stunt in the description of their YouTube video:

The Snack That Smiles Back. Now you go take a crack. Just write some words that match. Then go and Tweet us back. #GoldfishJingle

If you laid awake in your bed last night, staring at the ceiling as your brain farted up that jingle over and over again, then you definitely watched the Grammys and were exposed to this commercial repeatedly. But if not, here you go:

Many on Twitter screamed “MERCY!” over the commercial and raged on how that jingle was going to lead them to commit assault on their own dick or cause them to commit mass goldfish murder:

Honestly, that seems very melodramatic to me. I mean, I listened to that jingle on a loop too, and the only thought that filled my head was: “Go to the grocery with a bat and destroy every box of Cheez-Its you see in the name of your Goldfish GOD!” Hmm, I wonder why.

Pic: YouTube

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