Harvey Weinstein Got Busted With Contraband Milk Duds In The Pokey

March 4, 2022 / Posted by:

Finally, some happy news for a change! And on a Friday too, what won’t the Universe do?! You’ll be delighted to learn that convicted rapist Harvey Weinsten got himself into a spot of bother in LA County jail last November when a box of contraband Milk Duds was discovered during a search of his cell following a visit from one of his attorneys. As you may recall, Harvey was extradited to Los Angeles last summer to stand trial on 11 additional charges of rape and sexual assault. He’s currently serving a 23-year sentence for rape and sexual assault in New York. According to Variety, Harvey is very sorry about the Milk Duds, if not for all the rape and sexual assault. Personally, hearing that a man who once felt so entitled and powerful that he could have sex with any woman he wanted, by force and coercion, can longer even enjoy the simple succor of plump sugary deer pellet without reprimand, is a real treat. Actual justice comes hard in this country, but poetic justice is sometimes just as sweet.

And let’s not forget that Harvey is a diabetic to boot! That’s right, even his own attorney was like “Here you go, Harv. Know yourself all the way the fuck out.” Variety reports:

Harvey Weinstein was caught with contraband Milk Duds in November, prompting a reprimand from L.A. County jail guards, according to records viewed by Variety.

The Milk Duds were found during a search on Nov. 10, after Weinstein had a face-to-face meeting with Shawn Burkley, one of his attorneys. The Milk Duds were confiscated, and the guards warned that they would have to search his attorneys’ legal binders and laptop bags on future visits.

Weinstein claimed to the guards that he had brought the Milk Duds with him when he was extradited from New York in July. But the jail officials said he had been searched upon his arrival at the L.A. County jail’s medical facility, and nothing was found, leading them to conclude that the Milk Duds were passed to him during the attorney’s visit.

Is there nothing Harvey won’t lie about? He was transferred in July and they found them shits in November. Was he waiting for a special occasion to eat them? His birthday is in March. Was he working on fashioning himself some Birthday candles out of ear wax and dental floss? Harvey is very bad at this prison business. If he wanted to hide those Milk Duds real good, he would have stuck them onto his back and nobody would have been the wiser. But now he’s officially on notice.

Weinstein is entitled to face-to-face visits with his attorneys as he prepares for trial. But jail officials warned that if further contraband is found, the attorneys could be forced to use a special booth.

Harvey is apparently still holding out hope that he’ll breathe free air again someday, so this black spot (sorry) on his record could spell bad news for any possible future parole hearing. So Harvey did something I never thought possible. He apologized for the “innocent misunderstanding.” The last time he said the word innocent, nobody believed him then either.

Weinstein apologized for the incident in a statement to Variety.

“This was an innocent misunderstanding,” Weinstein said. “It will not happen again. I have been a model inmate, following the rules and regulations and I am sincerely sorry.”

Harvey’s lead attorneys also issued an apology, implying the candy was, in fact, passed by someone on their team.

“We have been informed about this and are very sorry it happened. It had not happened before, and never happened since. Harvey has been a model inmate and intends to continue as such.”

It’s hilarious to note that Harvey gave his statement to Variety of all places. He probably also gave them the exclusive on a couple of new projects he’s been thinking about for when he gets out including a list of actresses he thinks would be great for his most personal project to date — Chocolate 2: Milk Stud.

Pic: The Hershey Company

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