Kanye “Ye” West has a new album, Donda 2, coming out soon and I find that shocking. I mean, it’s wild that he had time to record a whole album amid all his busy work of stunting with Julia Fox for three minutes and constantly harassing his ex Kim Kardashian, and her new boyfriend, Pete Davidson. But if you want to listen to the next magical masterpiece of musical machinations from a Christian Billionaire Genius, you’re gonna have to buy something called a Stem Player. It costs $200 and looks like an Apple knock-off product found in a swap meet. It was invented by Kanye West so that makes sense.
Complex says that the Stem Player launched back in August 2021, and is created by Yeezy Tech and Kano Computing. To me, it looks exactly like anything else designed by Ye: tacky, underdesigned, void of style, ugly. I mean, look at the lighting in this picture that they chose on purpose for promotional advertising:
Kanye’s Stem Player is supposed to allow the user to customize tracks by isolating different instruments and vocals that are featured on a song. And Donda 2 is supposed to come out next Tuesday, February 22–but let’s remember that Donda 1 had about eighteen listening parties before it actually came out. Regardless when it gets here, there’s only one way to get the new album:
“Donda 2 will only be available on my own platform, the Stem Player. Not on Apple Amazon Spotify or YouTube,” Ye wrote in a post made to Instagram. “Today artists get just 12% of the money the industry makes. It’s time to free music from this oppressive system. It’s time to take control and build our own. Go to stemplayer.com now to order.” Ye’s post also featured a short clip of City of Gods.
After Donda 2 trended, Kanye decided to call out the streaming services for making music “practically free” while screwing over artists.
Kim had better check out any Stem Players that Kanye may give to their kids. She’ll find out it’s doing more than just isolating vocals and drum beats, it’s listening in on her. One day they’ll all just start playing Ave Maria all at once while Kanye says in a sermon over the remote-controlled speakers: “Kimye Forever! God! Bring Kimye back together!”
Pic: Jennifer Graylock/INSTAR