Kanye West Will Be A Headliner At Coachella 2022

January 6, 2022 / Posted by:

With Travis Scott unable to headline as scheduled due to the deadly Astroworld disaster, picking industry darling Billie Eilish to headline Coachella 2022 felt like a safe and sane choice if they’re going to go ahead and have a combo HPV/COVID-19 super-spreader event anyway. Billie’s got a lot going for her, she’s young, popular, and relatively untainted by controversy. But apparently Goldenvoice, the festival organizers, are only interested in her for one thing, and it’s not her boobs. According to Variety, Coachella has just added Kanye West as a headliner and almost everything she’s not. He’s old, popular, and stained by controversy beyond recognition.

Coachella is scheduled to pop off the weekends of April 15-17 and April 22-24, 2022, which means America only has a couple of months left to get its shit together or it might get canceled again for the third year in a row. Hold up, THIS JUST IN! America has opted not to get its shit together therefore Nero and his Fiddlers of Fyre have been added as co-headliners for Yechella 2022. Variety reports:

Billie Eilish and Kanye West are slated to headline the 2022 Coachella festival, sources tell Variety, on Saturday and Sunday night, respectively. Swedish House Mafia is also on the bill, although it is unclear whether the group is the festival’s third headliner — the traditional “throwback” slot for the reunion of a more veteran artist.

West headlined the festival in 2011 and Eilish had a breakthrough performance in 2019 (she would be the youngest artist to top the Coachella bill); SHM previously performed at Coachella in 2012.

The festival, which is already sold out, is scheduled to take place over the weekends of April 15-17 and April 22-24, 2022, at its usual location of the Empire Polo Ground in Indio, Calif. However, the alarming omicron surge and the postponement of the Grammy Awards this week have many wondering whether the festival will take place in April, or be moved — for a fifth time — to a later date.

Maybe Goldenvoice are just dangling Kanye as a lure to sell tickets knowing damn well he won’t show up on time and they can give his slot to someone who isn’t suspected of having run a puppet presidential campaign for the Republican party and (allegedly) actively worked towards undermining American democracy. Could it be that the actual headliner they have on tap is Cher? Or am I just being naive? It might not matter anyway because according to The AV Club, things are looking grim all around for Coachella 2022. Kanye may be a genius, but smarter artists than he have wisely decided that now is not the time.

This is per THR, which reports that the artist currently known as Ye is apparently deep into talks to headline the Sunday night slot for the festival, which has been scrambling to fill out its line-up ever since original headliner Travis Scott was removed from consideration after the deaths at his Astroworld festival late last year. Scott was part of a bill that’s been getting shuffled around since 2020, when the festival was first delayed, and then outright canceled, due to COVID concerns. Fellow bill-mate Frank Ocean has been shunted to the hopeful safety of a 2023 headlining slot, while Rage Against The Machine, the third member of that doomed assembly of big-name artists, has now dropped out entirely.

Variety adds that Goldenvoice recently “raised some controversy” by covertly downgrading their Covid policy from requiring all attendees to show proof of vaccination “in favor of proof of a negative test within 72 hours of the event,” which can only mean one thing. Kanye’s probably bringing fellow reprobates Da Baby and Marilyn Manson as his plus twos.

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