Who Is December’s Hot Slut Of The Month?
It’s the final Hot Slut of the Month battle of 2021, and this one is free of humans and members of the animal kingdom. So the theme is: Inanimate Hot Sluts! Although, I’m pretty sure that the Taco Bell Enchirtio comes alive in your bowels and Bob Dylan’s Christmas lights are fully alive with holiday opulence. But you know what I mean. As always, the first three HSOTM finalists got the most Facebook likes, and the fourth was picked by me. Your choices for 2021’s final Hot Slut of the Month are:
The Taco Bell Enchirito, the bowels-destroying baby of an enchilada and a burrito that Taco Bell has offered up on-and-off since the 1970s. But Enchritio fans can order it off the menu at some Taco Bells. So you’re an extra fancy bitch if you roll up to a Taco Bell drive-thru and say, “Why yes, garçon, I’d like to order off the menu, please.”
Clairol Short & Sassy Shampoo, the shampoo that Clairol made in the 1970s that was EXCLUSIVELY for people with short & sassy ‘dos. So it wasn’t for people with hair like Gwyneth Paltrow since it was Short & Sassy Shampoo, not Long & Dull Shampoo!
The 850-Pound Pot Brownie, the Godzilla-sized pot brownie that was made by a marijuana company and was filled with 20,000 mg of THC. If the pandemic and holidays upped your tolerance to the good shit, you may be looking at that brownie like, “Just 20k? I’d need to get two just in case.”
Bob Dylan’s Christmas Lights, the yearly Christmas display of pure dazzlement outside of Bob Dylan’s Malibu compound. It’s the perfect holiday light display for those of us who don’t care about Christmas and also care about Christmas at the same time. It’s the “don’t want to use up the energy in wrapping this gift so I’ll just throw it in an old gift bag and call it a day” of holiday light displays.
The winning HSOTM will be crowned on Monday, January 10, and that’s when we’ll begin Round One of the Hot Slut of 2021 semi-finals. So rest your votin’ finger up!
Pic: Fandom, Pinterest, Marimed, Twitter
