Thanks in no small part to her pervy little no-goodnick son Prince Andrew, THE QUEEN has had to eat a lot of shit lately. So maybe it’s a good thing that, despite her best attempts to preserve tradition and maintain some semblance of normalcy by keeping her annual pre-Christmas lunch on the books, CNN reports that it’s been canceled due to a surge in COVID-19 infections in the UK. It’s good news for her staff and it’s even better news for The Queen, whether she knows it or not. Because she can now skip the plate of poo-crumpets Andrew promised to bring her and can return that box from Harry & David that the Sussexes sent from America because I’m pretty sure that wasn’t really a “summer sausage” in there.
Historically, each year The Queen hosts a pre-Christmas lunch for extended family at Buckingham Palace. Last year it was canceled due to
bad press COVID. This year, her first as a widow, Liz had planned to go ahead with the event which was scheduled for next Tuesday at her current hidey-hole, Windsor Castle. Now, thanks to some bitch named even worse press Omicron, this year’s luncheon is toast. And THE QUEEN can’t eat toast without her dentures! Hurts her gums I think. CNN reports:
Queen Elizabeth II has canceled a pre-Christmas family lunch as a precaution because of a surge in Covid-19 cases in the United Kingdom, a source at Buckingham Palace told CNN on Thursday.
According to the source, the decision is a precautionary one as it is felt the lunch would put too many people’s Christmas arrangements at risk if it went ahead.
While there is “regret” that the lunch has been canceled, the source added, there is a belief it is “the right thing to do” for all concerned.
Plans were believed to have been in place for the Christmas lunch at Windsor Castle next Tuesday, according to PA Media.
The decision to cancel this year comes after strong warnings by England’s chief medical officer about the spread of the Omicron variant, calling on people to be careful so that Christmas could be preserved.
Liz usually does a turkey for the luncheon, so at least this means Liz won’t be put on her back foot when Prince Charles waltzes in with his concerns that the bird might come out of the oven a little darker than it’s supposed to. Shit, between Liz’s lunch and the family tradition of doing a Very Royal Perp Walk to church on Christmas Day, The Firm was already risking a lot of unwanted exposure. So it’s for the best really, that Omicron swooped in and shredded Liz’s guest book for her.