Kim Kardashian is ready to move the fuck on from her marriage to Kanye West. The struggling soon-to-be “legally single” mother of 4 didn’t bust her ass studying for “10 hour days, daily 4 hour zooms, [and] in-person practice tests week after week” just to go back to being a housewife. No, ma’am. Despite his embarrassing attempts to woo her back (or because of them, you’d have to ask Kris Jenner), Kim has told the judge in her divorce case that “irreconcilable differences” between her and Kanye have caused their marriage to “irretrievably break down.” So Kim is asking for a bifurcated divorce like the one that was granted to Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt. Kim’s had it! Kim’s practically a lawyer now, Kanye can do his own dishes and laundry from now on. And as such, she can finally afford to have someone come in to help out. And by “help” I mean explain to her what “dishes” and “laundry” are so she can in turn explain them to Kanye. All this time they’ve both just been shedding their gimp suits as they walk through the door and they magically disappear!
Yesterday Kim announced that she had finally passed the baby bar on her 4th attempt. We also learned that Kim has asked the judge presiding over their divorce to declare her legally single while she and Kanye work out child custody details, and presumably, the contents of the underground lair where they keep their humanoid skins. Kim’s also been making moves to rebrand her cosmetics company, dropping the KKW Beauty moniker (the W stands for Westworld, the cheeky name of said underground humanoid skin lair) in favor of the more fitting SKKN. TMZ reports that her latest move towards independence includes telling the judge that no amount of counseling could save her marriage at his point.
Kim Kardashian made it clear in new legal docs … there’s no way to fix her marriage to Kanye.
We just got supporting docs Kim filed … in her declaration, she says, “No counseling or reconciliation effort will be of any value at this time.”
Kim also says, “Irreconcilable differences have existed and continue to exist between [Kanye] and me, which have caused our marriage to irretrievably break down.”
Kim then goes on to say … she’s wanted to end the marriage for a while, but Kanye wasn’t having it. She says, “I have been attempting to settle our dissolution with [Kanye] since I filed for divorce in February 2021.” She adds, “I have requested several times that [Kanye] agree to bifurcate and terminate our marital status. [He] has not responded to my request.”
Kim’s basically a lawyer now, she should know how busy they can get. And Kanye’s team has been tied up responding to reports that his one time publicist (or current, you’ll have to ask Kris) Trevian Kutti tried to pressure a Georgia election worker “to confess to false allegations of committing voting fraud.” A rep for Kanye had this to say. via Reuters:
So Kanye, always an innovator, and his team are obviously very busy at the moment trying to figure out a new definition for the word “facts.” But I’m sure Kanye is handling Kim’s request to “bifurcate and terminate” their marriage immediately because they “both deserve the opportunity to build new lives,” with the same maturity and cool-headed reserve he employs with all his endeavors. In fact, somehow, following his most recent, subtle attempt to get Kim’s attention during his Larry Hoover benefit concert with Drake last week, Kanye quietly and stealthily deleted all the content on his Instagram and rolled his Twitter feed all the way back to that fateful day in November. Unfortunately, it’s the revised version. This tweet was originally captioned “Welp.”
KANYE 2024 pic.twitter.com/Zm2pKcn12t
— ye (@kanyewest) November 4, 2020
See, why would a man who is not actively trying to build a new life for himself be making plans for 2024! It’s not like he would actually try to run for president again, that’s so Kanye 2020. No, Kanye 2024 obviously refers to Kanye’s commitment to his future self, post-divorce. That’s right, 2024 is going to be Kanye’s year for self-care, self-reflection, and self-love. Watch out world, Ye’s a-comin’.