Owen Wilson Marries Jennifer Lopez In The Trailer For “Marry Me,” A Musical Rom-Com

November 18, 2021 / Posted by:

Good news, Jennifer Lopez is back to doing what she does best. Not singing! She’s back on the big screen and she’s staring Oscar dead in the eye and daring him to snub her for a second time! And Oscar is very confused because he’s seen the trailer for Marry Me, and honestly, he’s not impressed. It looks like they fired up the old Mad Libs Rom-Com generator for this one and still somehow managed to come up with the least imaginative answers possible. International superstar JLo plays an [occupation] international superstar (OK, she sings a little) who plans to marry her [occupation] international superstar boyfriend, played by international superstar Maluma, live on stage but finds out he’s cheating moments before. So she decides to marry the first schmo she sees who happens to be a [humble occupation] math teacher played by Owen Wilson who is a [endearing trait] single dad. Could it be true love? Or could it be an excuse for JLo to parade around in haute couture? I guess whoever sees this movie will find out! Ben Affleck, you’ll let us know, won’t you?

I mean, if we’re going to stretch our imaginations far enough to buy JLo as the second coming of Julia Roberts, then I think we can imagine Owen Wilson as an attentive single dad. He’s an actor for Christ’s, sake! We owe him that much. Marry Me also stars Sarah Silverman as [role for 3rd billed player] sassy best friend. Oh, and did I forget to mention it’s a musical? Well, it is but only JLo gets to sing. So OK, she sings a lot. Here’s the trailer.

I’m officially pleading with Hollywood to take the Owen Wilson Show Us Your Ears Challenge. Is there something wrong with them? Was he grossly disfigured in a devastating Beats by Dre accident? I don’t know, maybe it would literally kill him to get a haircut. Much like his daughter, I don’t know his life! According to Entertainment Weekly, the movie’s director says that when she saw the script she said “wow, it feels in some way so timeless and classic” and compared it to “old-school Hollywood musicals of bygone eras with a modern twist.” And that twist is JLo is in it instead of a movie star. And did I mention she sings? Apparently, “the musical segments serve as a serious vocal showcase for the 52-year-old’s talents.

Though Lopez (whose Hollywood career has largely been noted for beloved romantic comedies like The Wedding Planner and Maid in Manhattan) and Maluma end up at odds in the film, the real-life friends collaborated on an entire album of music to accompany the film. Lopez dropped the latest preview of the album Thursday as she debuted a new ballad, “On My Way,” alongside the trailer.

I wasn’t able to get even halfway through On My Way, and neither will you. So here’s On My Own by Patti LaBelle instead. Marry Me comes out on [obvious holiday] Valentines Day.

See, now, shaggy as he is, you can still see Michael McDonald’s ears! So it can be done.

Pic: YouTube

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