Hot Slut Of The Day!
The Fergamerican National Anthem Children’s Book!
The Very Hungry Caterpillar, Where The Wild Things Are, Goodnight Moon, Green Eggs and Ham, The Giving Tree, and Everyone Poops better make room in the Classic Children’s Book Hall of Fame, because here comes an instant classic. It’s been almost 4 years since Fergie took a rusty machete to the National Anthem and butchered the fuck out of it by sounding like a horny hyena in heat getting a colonoscopy without lube or sedatives. Many still aren’t over it. And writer Rob Anderson isn’t over it either and created a whole children’s book about it. So now children can join all of us in saying, “THE FUCK?!”, about Fergie’s Fergalicious National Anthem.
In February 2018, Fergie warbled out The Star-Spangled Banner at an NBA All-Star Game and shredded the hell out of every lyric that stumbled out of her yodel hole. Fergie answered the question, “What would it sound like if a drunk cat got electrocuted while singing jazz songs in Pig Latin?” Fergie’s take on the National Anthem was an achievement in WTF, and now it’s finally been memorialized in a children’s book from Rob Anderson. Rob somehow translated the incoherent shit coming out of Fergie’s mouth into text and added pictures. Here’s a little of Rob’s brilliant translation:
Whoa Say Can You See Buy The Doors Early Lie
What’s So Prowl Layaway Hayiwl At The Twilight’s Last Glee Mean
And here’s the full masterpiece:
@heartthrobert I had so much fun making this #fergie #fergienationalanthem #fergalicious
Honestly, Gay Prue is an Honorary Hot Slut, but this book had me at Startled Cat:
After Rob’s The Fergamerican National Anthem children’s book made the rounds, Fergie saw it and responded with: “Now I’m craving Brie cheese.”
And hopefully, Pixar, Netflix, DreamWorks, and Nickelodeon are all in a bidding war to buy the movie rights to Rob’s book. And, Rob, only make a deal if they agree to spin-off movies for Gay Prue and Startled Cat!
Pic: TikTok