Hot Slut Of The Day!

November 6, 2021 / Posted by:

Doug!

“Michael, why are you posting a picture of Channing Tatum as a baby?!” said everyone who still has that old ass Channing Tatum/Potato post saved in their bookmarks. But that spudtastic beauty above is Doug. Doug is a big ass potato from New Zealand that has weighed in at 17.4 pounds, which means it could be the world’s heaviest potato on record. Whether Doug gets the record or not, Doug is still a STAH! So, sorry Peter Jackson, Lorde, the Flight of the Conchords, and Russell Crowe, but it looks like Doug is now the biggest celebrity to come out of New Zealand!

NPR says that on August 30, Colin and Donna Craig Brown were weeding their garden at their farm near Hamilton when Colin’s hoe (wink wink) hit something huge underneath the soil’s surface. Was it a body? Was it buried treasure? Well, yeah, it kind of was buried treasure, because Colin and Donna ended up digging out the now-famous DOUG! They named Mr. Potatohead’s gargantuan cousin “Doug” because well they dug Doug’s ass up. Doug has since become a local celebrity as well as a little internet celebrity. Colin and Donna have already applied for Guinness World Records-status:

“We put a hat on him. We put him on Facebook, taking him for a walk, giving him some sunshine,” Doug said. “It’s all a bit of fun. It’s amazing what entertains people.”

A more official weigh-in at a local farming store put Doug at 7.8 kg. The current Guinness World Records entry for the heaviest potato is a 2011 monster from Britain that weighed in at just under 5 kg. The couple say they’ve applied to Guinness to have Doug recognized and are waiting to hear back.

Colin really has no idea how that big pile of turd-looking potato grew in their garden so he doesn’t have any gardening tips. Doug eventually started to get moldy, so Colin and Donna cleaned it up and it’s now in their freezer. Colin plans to turn Doug into vodka. Here’s Doug’s story from The Guardian and the video is worth watching for the simple fact that Colin says, “Holy snapping turtle teeth!

Because of Doug and the Potato Peen Statue of Cyprus, it is turning into the era of the potato. All hail, our new potato overlords (which means that vodka really is holy water).

Pic: YouTube

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