Jeremy Piven has been the victim of a CRIME! TMZ is reporting that Bling Ring-esque thieves broke into Jeremy’s LA home when he was out of town. They came in through a smashed window and made away with $20,000 worth of clothes. Now, if Jeremy were a regular poor like you and I, this would be a huge loss. But, luckily, this is the guy who used to charge $15,000 for a Cameo Zoom call. Ipso facto, he’s rich. And $20k worth of rich-person-clothes is likely just a distressed pair of jeans and a Johnny Depp-style fedora.
Sources say police are looking for videos to help them catch the perps, and no arrests have been made. Jeremy’s rep tells TMZ:
“It’s unfortunate when high profile celebrities are a target of home robberies when traveling. Jeremy was out of town at the time doing his stand-up comedy shows in the UK.”
I’m sorry… “stand-up comedy shows”? Jeremy Piven does stand-up comedy? In England? Is there an audience for that? I just… I have so many questions. Google says the Piv’s first stand-up show was in 2008, but that he’s been “gigging regularly” (puke) for the past five years. So around the same time he was accused of sexual assault and tried to prove his innocence by passing a lie detector test. I mean, it’s a smart move for his career. Loads of stand-up fans don’t give a fuck about sexual assault allegations. And the Venn diagram of perv-apologists and Entourage fans? Basically a circle.
But back to the robbery. Did the thieves steal this hat?
What about this look?
It shouldn’t be hard to track these criminals down. Just find the douchiest-dressed people in LA.