Who Is September’s Hot Slut Of The Month?
For the past three months, the animal kingdom has been dominating Hot Slut of the Month with a raccoon, dogs, and a cat taking the internet’s second most illustrious honor (the first being Hot Slut of the Year, of course). Well, it’s time for humans, inanimate objects, commercials, and soul-eating robot babies from SHREK HELL to get their chance for some time in the HSOTM shine. Because September’s HSOTM showdown is an animal-free contest. Cut to the doggy/feline duo of Lollipop and Sashimi winning September’s HSOTM battle thanks to an OVERWHELMING amount of write-in votes.
The first three finalists got the most Facebook likes for the month and the fourth was picked by me. September’s HSOTM choices are:
Beyhan Mutlu, the drunken mess who unknowingly joined the search party that was looking for him. Bless him because now us drunk messes have something to say to our friends and relatives when they judge our drunkness. “Well, at least I’m not Beyhan Mutlu levels of drunk…yet.”
Frances McDormand’s Flip Phone, the priceless technological artifact that Frances McDormand uses to communicate with. Frances’ flip phone proves that she might be one of the most patient people in the world. Because most of us would lose it after three seconds of trying to text on a flip phone in the year 2021.
Volkswagen’s Da Da Da Commercial, the 90s Volkswagen commercial that is a big reason why many people went to a brain surgeon back in the day to ask, “Do you think you can surgically remove that song Da Da Da from my head?!”
Frank Ocean’s Robot Shrek Baby, the “accessory” that Frank Ocean brought to the MET Gala and probably even made the Mistress of the Death Eaters, Anna Wintour, throw holy water at it.
Voting is below. The winning HSOTM will be crowned next Wednesday, October 27!
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