Lindsay Lohan Has Really Doggone And Done It This Time! She’s Pissed Off The Furries!
Oh, Lindsay, Lindsay, Lindsay, you do not need this. I mean, Lindsay Lohan’s probably already dealing with non-stop calls from Scam Likely (that’s how Dina Lohan comes up on everyone’s phone) who is begging for commissary money for generic-brand Tang and hair bleach to keep up her beauty during her 18-day stint in the clink for her latest DWI. And now LiLo’s dodging flaming polyester hairballs of rage hocked at her by the furries who are pissed over her latest NFT. Yes, the furries are barking mad at LiLo over an NFT. It’s like 2007 and 2021 collided into a pile of Wait, What?!.
Like LiLo’s fellow early-aughts famewhore Paris Hilton, she has gotten into NFTs. Because if there’s a #getrichquickbitch scheme, you’ll find LiLo all in it. I mean, if her 6126 leggings took off, she’d be the leader in scammy leggings instead of those dreadful LulaRoe tricks. But what we’re talking about here is LiLo’s foray into NFTs, which is a digital asset that sometimes “represents real-world objects like art, music, in-game items, and videos.” LiLo’s already sold her song, Lullabye (more like LiloBYE), as an NFT for $85,000. And now LiLo has gotten together with Canine Cartel, a line of cartoon dog NFTs. They made LiLo her own Canine Cartel NFT that is currently up for auction. And look at this low-budget mess. She looks like a grifting business dog who forged the deed to the Catillac Cats’ junkyard and evicted them all.
The bid is currently at 0.51 Ethereum (or $1,674.10) and bidding ends tomorrow, so act quick. Personally, I’m saving my EthelRimMe coins for an NFT from that other early-aughts mess Courtenay “Google Me You Dumb Fuck” Semel.
As for why the furries are steaming mad (which has to be uncomfortable under all that fur!) at LiLo, it isn’t because the artistic quality of her NFT is levels above their furry art. It’s because of the opposite. One furry writer, Colin Spacetwinks, tells Rolling Stone that LiLo’s furry art gets a D-:
“Flat D, perhaps even a D-,” says Colin Spacetwinks, a writer in the furry community. “It reminds me in a way of frequently insecure straight artists rendering furries: [diminish] and reduce furry traits so as to not ‘commit’ to what you’re doing. Ears covered, why? Feels like it’s avoiding animal traits on purpose.” Furry and aspiring game developer Tommo the Cabbit made a similar point, telling Rolling Stone, “It’s weird how there’s no ears shown since furry characters have ears shown on the top of the head.”
It doesn’t stop there. Another furry artist called LiLo’s NFT lazy and also pointed out that any self-respecting furry artist would never make an NFT because of what they do to the environment.
“A lot about the design actually seems to be made so they can quickly swap out colors and such which makes sense given the nature of NFTs,” says Kaide, a furry 3Dartist, adding that he finds the art of “middling quality.” Kaide says he believes the artwork is lower quality because many furry artists would receive backlash if they took an NFT commission: “Most of the top tier furry artists and furries at large (but not all) stand against NFTs due to the environmental impact of them.”
Even though LiLo probably read “middling quality” and thought, “That’s a glowing review compared to the reviews of my latest stuff,” she hasn’t been read that hard by a slobbery, furry creature since Brandon Davis! And I bet that because of her NFT, LiLo thought that the furry community would embrace her and she’d be collecting check after check as the headliner of every FurryCon from Salzburg to Schenectady. But now she won’t even be able to book a booth next to the fire hydrant outside.
Pic: Instagram