August’s Hot Sluts Of The Month Are….

If you should ever find yourself nearly drowning off the coast of Italy and screaming “AIUTAMI!” (after pulling out your water-resistant iPhone and Googling, “How do you say ‘help me’ in Italian?“, of course), you may be rescued by Hot Slut royalty. Because three Italian lifeguard pooches (two of which may or may not be pictured above) are now our reigning Hot Sluts of the Month after winning most of the votes.

Eros, Mira, and Mya are part of Italy’s Scuola Italiana Cani Salvataggio (SICS), a rescue dog school in Italy that works with human volunteers to patrol the beaches for swimmers in need. They became heroes last month when they helped rescue a group of 14, including 8 children, who were swept out to sea off the shore of Sperlonga. They are the real-life PAW Patrol: Baywatch Edition, and now they are HSOTM grand champions. Eros, Mira, and Mya won August’s HSOTM showdown with 40% of the votes. In second is my current favorite ASL interpreter (see: her piping hot translation of “I wanna choke”) Kelly Kurdi with 30%, followed by The Badass Street Ruler of Bolton with 22% and Bob Wehadababyitsaboy with 8%. The furry life-saving dream team of Eros, Mira, and Mya will now go on to the Hot Slut of 2021 semi-finals next year.

For now, I leave you with this video of some of the lifeguard pooches (not Eros, Mira, or Mya) of Italy at work. I’d probably be screwed if I needed lifeguard help in Italy because one of those adorable David HasselARFs would swim out to me, smell the skankness and booze wafting off of me, and swim right back to shore. My stench would even be too much for a living thing who regularly smells dog ass!

Thanks to all who voted!

Pic: Facebook