Nick Cannon Is Going To Take A Break From Making Babies After His Therapist Told Him To Be “Celibate”
I doubt anyone had Nick Cannon‘s super sperm creating a basketball roster worth of children on their 2021 scorecard, yet here we are. And even though he’s been more than proud of his work the rest of us are questioning why he’s wildin’ out this much with future tax dependents. However, Slick Dick Nicky understands why he’s the chosen Noah of the new millennium. But his therapist believes it’s time for him to take a knee and stop procreating. And luckily for all of us, he’s listening to the advice.
According to People, Nick realizes his seed is a lethal weapon. Nick made his first two children, 10-year-old twins Monroe and Morrocan, with Mariah Carey. In February 2017, Brittany Bell gave birth to his third child, Golden, and in December 2020, she gave birth to his fourth child, Powerful Queen. In June of this year, Abby De La Rosa birthed out his second set of twins: Zion Mixolydian and Zillion Heir. Also in June, Alyssa Scott gave Nick his seventh child, a son named Zen. Dick Cannon claimed that he’s having all these kids on purpose and will keep on making babies as long as God sees fit. But now, it may be time for him to take a break and allow his balls to breathe before unleashing another Cannon into the world:
The actor, who is set to launch his eponymous daytime talk show, spoke to Entertainment Tonight about recently welcoming new babies to his family over the past year, mentioning that his therapist suggested he be celibate in light of the news.
“I’m not sitting out here planning it. My therapist says I should be celibate,” Cannon, 40, told the outlet, adding in jest, “Okay, give me a break bus. I’m [gonna] take a break from having kids.”
Uh, YEAH you should take a break. You’re the only person during the pandemic who’s had kids on purpose. And although Nick is adamant that he had these children because he wants to, nobody wants to be reminded that you’re rich enough to feed all of these mouths. Some of us have a hard enough time securing water for ramen, yet here you are; skeeting from the window to the wall into whoever wants those residual checks. Good for you! But luckily Nick understands that he can’t just make babies and forget where he came from. For Nick, it all comes back to his roots. And the main reason why he wants so many kids is because he remembers what it was like growing with many family members.
“I come from a big family, I have several siblings, [and] being raised in an unorthodox family by my grandparents at times, I’ve experienced such a wide range of upbringing that I have such a love and passion for kids and family. I want a big family too. The Lord has blessed me with what I asked. Ask and you shall receive.”
Fast forward to a future reboot of Where Are They Now where Nick will be blindfolded in a throne (aka an 80s wicker chair) where his children will all give him clues to who they are while he tries to pinpoint which child it is. And each time he gets the name wrong, Mariah Carey will emerge with a coy smirk singing the chorus to “Love Takes Time” while escorting them offstage. Yes I know, it sounds hilarious. But honestly how else will she secure her child support payments?