Open Post: Hosted By One Gorilla Giving Oral To Another Gorilla At The Bronx Zoo
The New York Post says that two Bronx Zoo gorillas went viral after casually engaging in oral sex in front of shocked onlookers of all ages. Hey, give ’em a break. It’s not like they get any privacy with those glass walls. I have no doubt that we’d all do the same. Now, at first, it looked like the one gorilla was going in for a cuddle, but, nope; they pushed the male gorilla to the ground and began performing fellatio. Some of the human zoo-goers burst out laughing, others dragged their kids away, and one dad cried, “Oh no! Don’t look, Josie!” But it was too late. Josie had seen everything. And she’ll never be the same.
Here’s the video of the now-infamous gorilla BJ (warning: there is a cameo from a surprisingly tiny gorilla penis):
Here’s what the guy who took the video (technically he filmed a porno!) had to say to The Post:
“I was shocked and had no idea that was a ‘natural’ act,” the videographer, who has opted to remain anonymous, told The Post of the steamy spectacle, which he captured while visiting the iconic NYC zoo with his family. “I was in the gorilla exhibit with my 4-year-old daughter and niece,” he said. “My wife had to stay out of the exhibit with my sleeping son, so I wanted to capture a lot of video. Then this magic happened.”
No word on if these were the same Bronx Zoo gorillas who once 69-ed each other in front of a crowd of kids. Why is it always in front of the children?! Shame on you, simians!
This whole thing reminds me of this terrible joke my father used to tell:
A man walks into a bar and sees that the bartender has a monkey in a cage. He asks, “Why do you have a monkey in a cage?” The bartender says, “I’ll show you why.” He opens the cage and hits the monkey on the head. When he does this, the monkey starts giving the bartender a blowjob. The bartender asks the man, “Do you want to try?” The man says, “Sure. Just don’t hit me that hard.”
Inappropriate, disgusting, stupid, offensive, dumb, lewd, ridiculous, and, worst of all, completely off-topic, because this post is about gorillas, not monkeys. I’m so sorry, everyone. Have a terrible weekend!
Pic: YouTube