Open Post: Hosted By The Life-Sized Cake Of Jason Derulo
Much like the quarters stuck underneath the bottom of my driver’s seat I always forget Jason Derulo is there. But he has gone from singer to crotch-less cat of terror to TikToker. And recently, Jason united his love of terrifying people and his love of TikTok attention by reaching out to a baker and asking her to make him a cake. But not just any kind of basic bitch sheet cake. Nah, Jason is going for a different kind of basic by requesting a life-sized cake of himself.
Page Six reports there’s a baker on TikTok named Lara Mason and her claim to fame is that she can turn anything into a cake. That’s not a bad skill to have until you get the bargain bin version of Usher knocking at your door asking to be re-created in sugar, butter, and flour. But that’s exactly what happened and of course, Lara documented the entire process from start to finish.
She included everything down to his facial hair, muscles and tattoos and frosted the cake version of Derulo to wear a black tank top, yellow and black pants and black boots. She also added a watch, bracelets and a sparkly chain around his neck.
Cakes on Derulo?!?! @jasonderulo #laramason #cakeanything
Something about this just feels very….cringe. Did you see how much care she put into icing his crotch area? How subtle Lara. But I can’t lie I would have spent a lot of time down there as well because he may be corny but I never said I would kick him out of the bed. And if you’re wondering if Lara has this cake preserved in her freezer for those days when she wishes she could really take a bite out of Jason Derulo, think again. Because she followed her initial video up with one of her slicing into the cake, and I have to say it’s probably going to give you nightmares later on.
Reply to @viktorea36 enjoy! 😘 #laramason #cakeanything
Lara, just because you can turn anything into a cake doesn’t mean you should turn anything into a cake. And I hope Jason paid you top dollar for this because if not you’ll just look like the crazy lady who turned a pop singer into a cake and then ate him. That’s some National Enquirer shit right there.