Open Post: Hosted By The Woman Who Was Banned From A Zoo Because Of Her 4-Year “Affair” With A Chimpanzee

August 25, 2021 / Posted by:

I realize that dating during a pandemic is a daunting task, but have things gotten so bad that people are now seeking comfort in the arms of primates? Apparently, that happened in Belgium and it happened long before the pandemic started. If you need proof, take a trip to Antwerp and visit Adie Timmermans, a woman who is probably soothing her tears in a tub of banana pudding after she got banned from the Antwerp Zoo for having a four-year-long “affair” with one of their chimpanzees.

People reports that Adie, known in most circles as The Monkey Mistress, has been speaking out after the zoo discovered how her relationship with one of their most popular attractions Chita, a chimpanzee who has been at the zoo for the past thirty years, is starting to affect his behavior. It all started four years ago when Adie took a trip to Belgium’s Antwerp Zoo and the two of them first locked eyes on each other. From that time on, Adie would visit her chimp friend every week, waving and blowing kisses at him from the other side of the glass. I’m sure it was cute at first, but four years later, officials at the zoo had to ask themselves, “Is this trick still kissing a monkey through the glass?” And that’s when they finally stepped in by telling her she could no longer visit Chita because, honestly, it’s weird. And now, ripped from the only love she’s ever known, Adie is speaking out on the injustice.

“I love that animal, and he loves me. I haven’t got anything else. Why do they want to take that away..We’re having an affair, I’ll just say…other dozens of visitors are allowed to make contact. Then why not me?”

Oh Adie, because other visitors aren’t pressing their lips up against a dirty ass glass trying to make out with wild animals. Don’t ask silly questions, darling. But honestly, I’m glad the glass is there because clearly this woman is prepared to risk it all for an actual kiss with Chita. That’s another reason why the zoo stepped in. Since he’s so into Adie, he’s not interacting with the other primates. And it’s becoming a huge issue.

“When Chita is constantly busy with visitors, the other monkeys ignore him and don’t consider him part of the group, even though that is important. He then sits on his own outside of visiting hours,” the zoo said. “An animal that is too focused on people is less respected by its peers. We want Chita to be a chimpanzee as much as possible,” the spokesperson for the facility added.

I think banning Adie is a move in the right direction since she most certainly is the Yoko Ono of the primate world. And in those moments when she gets to missing her old boo Chita all she needs to do is dim the lights, grab the closest banana, and turn on Planet of the Apes. That should get her through the lonely nights.

Pic: YouTube

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