Larry David Yelled At Alan Dershowitz At A Grocery Store On Martha’s Vineyard
Noted attorney Alan Dershowitz, who most recently represented Donald Trump during his impeachment trial and is now a frequent NewsMax commentator, was just minding his own business in front of the grocery store in Martha’s Vineyard the other day when he spotted his friend Larry David. Being the friendly, neighborly sort, Alan greeted Larry and to his shock, was rebuffed! Knowing in his heart he didn’t do anything wrong to deserve such a cruel shunning, Alan pressed Larry asking him “We can still talk, Larry,” only to be met with screams and yells so violent that Alan “was worried that he was going to have a stroke.” How’s a level-headed regular good-guy like Alan supposed to react to that?! Well, rip off his t-shirt to reveal another t-shirt that says “It’s The Constitution Stupid!,” that’s what! Look, I know this sounds like fan-fic but it’s not. Page Six spoke to Alan directly to confirm the story as told to them by a “Page Six spy” who saw it all go down in front of them. You know how it is on the Vineyard. No Jacket or “Allegedly” Required.
Alan, who went from defending highly esteemed luminaries such as O.J. Simpson, Jeffrey Epstein, and Harvey Weinstein, is finding out that there’s a difference between merely toxic clients and clients like Donald Trump who are so radioactive their attorney’s hair literally melts off their head. Page Six reports:
It seems that Alan Dershowitz’s ties to the Trump administration have made him persona non grata among the Martha’s Vineyard elite — including Larry David.
A Page Six spy spotted the Harvard Law professor — who was once, like David, a fully paid-up member of the Democratic cool kids — bumping into the comic on the porch of the island’s picturesque convenience store and community hub Chilmark General Store, and found their exchange so bizarre that they “wrote it down to remember it.”
Dershowitz: “We can still talk, Larry.”
David: “No. No. We really can’t. I saw you. I saw you with your arm around [former Trump Secretary of State Mike] Pompeo! It’s disgusting!”
Dersh: “He’s my former student [at Harvard Law]. I greet all of my former students that way. I can’t greet my former students?”
David: “It’s disgusting. Your whole enclave — it’s disgusting. You’re disgusting!”
Added the stunned source, “Larry walks away. Alan takes off his T-shirt to reveal another T-shirt [underneath it] that says, ‘It’s The Constitution Stupid!’.”
We’re told Dersh “drove off in an old, dirty Volvo.”
Unfortunately, the spy didn’t whip out their camera (you know what they say on the Vineyard — look out, Alec Baldwin coming!), but the moment has been immortalized in this cartoon I found on Instagram.
Alan said the reason for the gag-worthy second shirt reveal was that his wife bought him the Constitution shirt “because so many people misunderstood his decision to defend Trump” and he was doubled up because “he had been planning to give the outer T-shirt to his pal as a gag gift.” Alan, unfortunately, did not say what the gag shirt was, but I’m going to guess it said “I’m with stupid” with an arrow pointing towards his face. Now, Alan has probably been trash for fucking forever (Virginia Giuffre claims she was trafficked to him by Ghislaine Maxwell) but apparently, his association with the Trump administration is what turned his relationship with Larry sour. Prior to that, they were good buds, according to Alan.
Reached for comment, Dershowitz confirmed the exchange and told us that he and the “Curb” creator had been friends for many years until the lawyer began working with the Trump camp.
He even claimed that he helped get one of David’s daughters into college and had once represented him pro bono in a legal dispute he had on the Massachusetts island, where they both spend their summers.
Cazzie David is probably all, “No One Asked for This, I totally could have gotten in on my own merit!” But Cazzie and Larry aren’t the only ones with jokes. Alan hilariously added:
“While he was writing bad jokes, I was helping to bring about peace in the Middle East,” Dershowitz told us. “What has he done?”
“It’s typical of what happens now on the Vineyard,” he added later. “People won’t talk to each other if they don’t agree with their politics.”
Oh shit, Alec comin’!
Pic: Wenn.com