Fabio Is Looking For Love, But No Social Media-Obsessives Allowed!

August 19, 2021 / Posted by:

This week’s issue of People Magazine features an interview and photoshoot with the hottest Italian sex symbol in modern history. No, no, not Lady Gaga in House of Gucci. It’s Fabio, he of the wild golden locks, glistening tan muscles, and blood-spattered goose-target face. The model has “come out of retirement” to talk about his life, legacy, and how, at age 62, he’s still looking for love. And that could include marriage and kids. The catch? The future Mrs. Fabio can’t be social-media-obsessed. Fabio hates that shit. You wanna get attention for your sexy pics? Slap your face on the cover of a romance novel like a normal person!

The social media hate really doesn’t come as a surprise. A few years ago Fabio shared his opinions on the Kardashian family, and he kept things simple and to-the-point with: “Kim Kardashian is trash.”

Fabio tells People that he recently went on a date with a woman and gave her a ride “in one of his 31 sports cars,” but apparently it didn’t work out cuz he’s still looking for The One. And not liking social media isn’t his only criteria. He wants someone with a sense of humor, and:

“She has to be able to be in the middle of nature. She can’t be afraid about bugs.”

He has options, he insists. “There is quantity, but I want quality.” He says he wants to get married. “I still want to have kids.” He flashes an optimistic smile.

Then, almost imperceptibly, the smile fades. He looks off to the horizon, like in a romance novel: “You see, when you really love a person, it’s forever.”

Fabio has never wed. He says he’s still not over a break-up from over 30 years ago. She was a model, and now she’s got a family of her own.

“I treated her badly,” he admits. “She wanted to settle down, and I was just too wild.”

Fabio goes on to share his supermodel beauty secrets. He adds that he avoids booze, drugs, and sweets, and he sleeps in an age-reversing “hyperbaric chamber.” So, um, I guess another qualification for the TBD future soulmate is being skinny enough to fit into a hyperbaric chamber holding Fabio.

In the clip below, Fabio sits (surrounded by his 31 sports cars) and adds that he’d also like an athletic-type who isn’t afraid to break a nail:


Oh, and here’s a clip of Fabio on the podcast PEOPLE in the ’90s, telling a story about how Oprah asked him if folks used I Can’t Believe It’s Not Butter (he was in their commercials) as lube:

Wait, is KY Jelly not fat-free?! My whole life is a lie!

Pic: Wenn.com

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