Joe Keery Of “Stranger Things” And His Glorious Mane Of Hair Belong To The Great Unwashed
Joe Keery, the 29-year-old actor who is best known for playing Steve in Stranger Things, has joined the growing number of hygiene-challenged humans in Hollywood. Joe tells GQ that the secret to his “Ferris Bueller’s secret smashup with George Michael behind a Vidal Sassoon salon in 1986 after the ninth and final take for the ‘Danke Schön’ scene” hairstyle is that he never ever washes it and barely even touches it.
via GQ:
He doesn’t wash his hair. He rarely even touches it, except during moments of contemplation, when his fingers will comb the fallen front strands back into an upward swell that maintains an anime level of consistency. He does not “get” haircuts in the way most people get haircuts—by asking for and then paying for them. Haircuts simply happen to him, in the way a belly rub happens to a dog on a walk.
Joe Keery’s most valuable asset isn’t the massively popular Netflix show he is very famous for (Stranger Things) or the Disney movie he is about to be very famous for (Free Guy)—possibly more famous than the 29-year-old has ever been. It’s his gravity-defying head of hair.
This kind of leads one to wonder if the hairstylist on set just sprays his head with a bottle of dry shampoo and hopes for the best, or if they lullaby him to sleep in the chair with carefully chosen excerpts from Rapunzel and stealth-wash the whole mess while he’s dreaming of bravely challenging shampoo bottles to a duel. GQ continues:
A viral meme theorized that his curl pattern, the result of two cowlicks on the sides of his forehead, unfolded in a perfect Fibonacci spiral, and maybe that is why the public went absolutely nuts in late 2019, when Keery showed up to a Chanel dinner and was photographed in a limp bowl cut, his sacred geometry violated.
“It didn’t go over well,” he says now. (People were threatening to dox the hairstylist.) “I saw some funny photos of it, and apparently I looked like a fucking idiot. But that’s okay. I think it’s good for everybody to look like an idiot at some point.”
Of course, he’s been approached by a haircare brand to endorse their products but Joe is no sellout!
“They promised a “bunch of money,” but Keery said no thank you. “I think it would just be so lame for the majority of people,” he says. “It would be a sellout move. Don’t you think?”
At least Joe didn’t pretend to be an avid user of their products and go all out on a shameless shill campaign to bank a few extra coins, like plenty of others we know, so there’s that. But somewhere in an immaculately tended grave, Dr. Bronner is spinning like a rotisserie chicken.
Here is Joe’s GQ photoshoot showcasing plenty of spiffy fashion, but who can even see any of it once they’re keratin-blinded by Joe’s dirty but fabulous hair?
Pic: Wenn.com