Lizzo is back with some new music for the first time since 2019 when she released her first official major label album, Truth Hurts. The nemesis of Jillian Michaels collaborated with Cardi B who in fact appeared in the Grecian video for Rumors while fully with child. And I’m guessing that in that promo shot above, Lizzo is whispering to Cardi, “Girl, where are my eyebrows?” Or maybe Lizzo’s whispering, “Girl, prepare yourself because you know Lindsay Lohan is going to slam us for stealing ‘her’ song.”
Entertainment Weekly says that Lizzo will be headlining the Bonnaroo Music and Arts Festival as the first-ever female headliner. And on September 25, Lizzo will be at the Global Citizen Live before heading to the Firefly Music Festival on September 26 and then on October 30, she will be at Outside Lands. That’s a lot of
chances for viral exposure shows! Certainly more shows than DaBaby has now. Hopefully, Lizzo finds her eyebrows before she has to perform. Ahead of all her live performances, Lizzo dropped her new song Rumors. The video is out too, and I’m not saying it’s a shot-for-shot remake of The Gospel Truth by The Muses, but it sort of is.
The video features Lizzo surrounded by terracotta urns showing all kinds of paintings of Lizzo getting sexy. Cardi’s pregnant ass then shows up on the scene, sitting atop a dick-shaped throne in a golden breastplate whose size must be called “Big Mama Milkers.”
Other people noticed Lizzo’s Hercules connection and lived for the reference:
— ✨Ms.Baeyonetta✨ (@Valyonetta) August 13, 2021
I’m sure that this song is going to be bumping at every PTA meeting hosted by a woman with a “Live, Laugh, Love” painting on their wall. But Lizzo is probably going to celebrate this new release with a fun weekend of partying! Which means that Chris Evans should keep his eyes peeled for a drunken DM from Lizzo reading: “U up?”
Pic: Atlantic Records