Virginia Giuffre has filed a civil lawsuit against Prince Andrew, the man she alleges assaulted and raped her when she was an underage sex trafficking victim of the late Jeffrey Epstein and the still currently alive Ghislaine Maxwell. Oh no, ignoring the situation didn’t make it go away? Wild! Being named in a serious lawsuit would probably send even the bravest creep into hiding for a while, but not Prince Andrew. Andrew did what he does best when he needs to do some quick damage control, which is that he runs off to Mummy in the Scottish countryside. And just like last time, he’s dragged his ex-wife and most shameless vocal supporter Fergie with him.
The last time Andrew pulled this stunt was about six seconds after Jeffrey Epstein was found dead in his jail cell. Prince Andrew’s name repeatedly popped up during conversations about Jeffrey Epstein, as the two were close friends, and were seen together on numerous occasions. To escape the unpleasantness of being name-dropped as a friend of a convicted pedophile and alleged sex trafficker, Andrew, Fergie, and their daughter Princess Beatrice all fled to Queen Elizabeth’s summer home, Balmoral Castle, in Scotland, where she was seen taking her dear son to church with her. Several months later, after Virginia Giuffre publicly accused Prince Andrew of sexually assaulting her when she was a minor, Andrew was seen going on a heartwarming horsie ride with his mother at Windsor Castle.
I half expected Andrew would respond to this rape lawsuit by showing up at his mother’s front door in short pants and clutching an oversized lollipop, begging his mother to join Poor Sweet Innocent Lil’ Andy on an antique carousel he rented for the day. He must not have gotten his deposit together in time, because Andrew was forced to go simple, with just a regular visit to his mother’s summer home. People says that Andrew drove himself to Balmoral with Fergie in the backseat of his Range Rover. The Daily Mail has several pictures of Andrew arriving at Balmoral.
— Daily Mail U.K. (@DailyMailUK) August 11, 2021
I’m guessing that the second Andrew was notified about Virginia’s lawsuit, he frantically grabbed an overnight bag, texted Fergie that he needed her services as his personal human shield, and scrambled into his Range Rover to haul ass to Mummy’s place. I’m also guessing that The Queen is old school enough to get her news from a newspaper, and Prince Andrew was rushing to Balmoral to intercept it from the paper lad before she could lay eyes on it. Kind of like the ending of Ferris Bueller’s Day Off, except with way more stumbling, swearing, sweating, and Andrew instructing Fergie to gnaw at the paper with her teeth to make it look like one of the dogs destroyed it.