Kristen Bell “Self Regulates” While On Her Period In Order To Keep Her Marriage To Dax Shepard Alive

August 10, 2021 / Posted by:

Everyone’s least favorite oversharing couple is back!

E! News says that on Dax Shepard‘s podcast, Armchair Expert, his wife Kristen Bell revealed the secret that has kept them together all this time (they’ve been married for 8 years) and it’s vagina-related! Kristen said that if she didn’t tame the beast and cage up the demoness waiting to slip out of her every month when her cycle started flowing, she and Dax would “100 percent not be married.” So was Kristen on her period for a whole chunk of Coronavirus because they were at each other’s throats during that.

Armchair Expert created the bathing debate around celebrities which has people like Jason Momoa and The Rock promising us they love soap and water. And now it’s preaching very helpful marital advice like “When your wife is on her period she’s crazy!” Super helpful information all around! In the latest episode released yesterday, Kristen guest hosted with her hubby for the third time:

While talking about what they saw in HBO MAX’s documentary, Woodstock ’99: Peace, Love, and Rage, Dax got into how in previous relationships he’d had, the women he dated had different reactions to their monthly period. Kristen talked a bit about how some women’s periods are “debilitating.” Hers in particular she needs to “self-regulate.” She said:

“We are expected to also self-regulate… and if I acted like I “wanted to,” every time I’m on my period, we would 100 percent not be married. I self-regulate, and women do on their period. Some women lose control, 100 percent, but what I saw in that documentary was so far crazy.”

But don’t worry, this isn’t some sexist nonsense which could have easily come out of a chapter from a Steve Harvey self-help book, Kristen also shits on men and said that they should also handle their business:

Kristen said she doesn’t “think it’s terrible to ask guys to regulate themselves” in response to their own biological makeup that leads to “rage.”

Kristen explained, “The reason I don’t go bananas on my period is because I have been brought up with socialization that has told me, “You will feel bananas a couple days before your period. Don’t scream at everyone, even though that is what you want to do, you can’t do that. What is happening to you is in your brain chemistry and your hormones. And you have to know that knowledge is power.””

Well, it’s really honorable of Kristen Bell to spend so much time regulating her own hormones to stay married to Dax. Maybe he should reciprocate by developing some spatial awareness and regulating his need for douchebaggery? And I’m sure this is just a pre-pre-pre-release promotion for Kristen’s next mommy-blogger style brand deal. She’s gonna be selling mood-controlling tampons. I’m calling it now!


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