June’s Hot Slut Of The Month Is….

July 19, 2021 / Posted by:

“RECOUNT!” is probably what the other Hot Slut of the Month finalists are screaming after a known thief won June’s HSOTM showdown. But they can quit it with that “stop the steal” shit because Esme is too busy illegally snatching up actual valuable items (old gloves and masks that Esme’s victims probably don’t notice are gone) to care about illegally snatching up some stupid shit like the title of HSOTM!

June’s HSOTM battle came down to Esme, the pussy thief of Beaverton, OR whose human wrongly called her out as a neighborhood robber with a lawn sign, Tilly, the 2-year-old border collie who escaped from a car crash and ran off to a farm where he pretended to be a herder, and Lil Nas X’s BET Awards Gay Kiss. It was a three-way fight for the HSOTM crown.¬†Esme won by getting 31.77% of the votes. Right on her ass was Tilly, who got 30.47% of the votes, and Lil Nas X’s BET Awards Gay Kiss, which got 30.13%. (I know, Lil Nas X’s BET Awards Gay Kiss losing Pride Month’s HSOTM is homophobic!) William White, the Gen Zer who can summon a coochie geyser out of a Gen Xer by lip-synching to Barry Manilow, ended up in fourth place with 7.63% of the votes.

Esme will go on to the Hot Slut of the Year semi-finals next year and will attempt to steal enough hearts to win the HSOTY throne! Thanks to all who voted.

Pics: YouTube

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