Kanye West And Irina Shayk Are Still Intact, So Stop Thinking They’re Not

Since 99.9% of the publicists across the US are snorting espresso powder 24/7 to stay awake and prop up the hourly drivel machine that is Benniferaissance, only a few TikTok-scrolling, bong-huffing interns remain to handle the rest of the boring AF, stunting lovebird bollocks on their plates, and all the slacking is really starting to take a toll.

God’s BFF Kanye West, 44, and model Irina Shayk, 35, are clearly casualties of this conspiracy of neglect, and just this past week, we were told that the hottest romance of our generation was over before it even started. Irina is fed up that we’re all getting mixed messages about the lusty flames that may or may not spontaneously erupt when they’re even 20 feet apart. So fed up, in fact, that People tells us she may have sought legal action to set the record straight.

via People:

Kanye West and Irina Shayk are still an item — and Shayk is not happy with the “lies” that they’re heading toward a split.

Weeks after the couple made a romantic trip to France and days after Page Six reported that the two were breaking up, a source tells PEOPLE that West, 44, and Shayk, 35, are still together.

“Irina is so upset at the lies about her and Kanye,” the source tells PEOPLE, adding that the model was moved to take legal action to set the record straight.

Of the rumors that “they’re cooling off and she turned down his invitation to Paris,” the source explains: “That’s just not true. Kanye went to Paris for the Balenciaga show to support Demna [Gvasalia]. He was in and out, only there for 3 hours.”

The “source” is obviously Kanye’s eight-year-old daughter North disguising her voice on a burner phone and trying to get back at her mother, Kim Kardashian, for not letting her paint her bedroom anything but mausoleum in a pearl finish. Kids! But clearly, Irina cares very much what the rumor-consuming public believes about their relationship (and she and Kanye maybe even hooked up before Kim was a face-morphing twinkle in his eye). And who knows? Irina could find it to be good cardio, telling Kanye he’s the most genius-y genius who ever genius-ed 150 times a day. People again:

“They are very much still dating,” the insider adds. Shayk and West recently spent time together in San Francisco — where he’s currently working — for the Fourth of July weekend.

Last month, a source told PEOPLE that the two would “date long-distance” after spending time together in France.

“Kanye is doing well. He had a great trip to France with Irina. They will date long distance,” a separate source said then. “Kanye will continue to be L.A.-based. He has no plans to move to NYC.”

“He is very focused on business in LA too. He likes spending time with Irina though and plans to see her soon again,” the source added.

Again, the story of this precious, fledging love is at the mercy of a handful of stoned, distracted PR interns, and it’s not exactly poised to end well. My guess is that the final blow will happen when Irina jarringly rolls over some of Kim’s original body parts in Kanye’s bed and catches him trying to fit them in Yeezy factory seconds, while lovingly asking the parts to remind him what the names of their kids are. (And who’s going to remind her?)

Pic:  Wenn.com