Open Post: Hosted By The Golf Club Theft At The Scottish Open That Made Golf Slightly Less Boring
Golf is typically some busted lullaby shit to have on as background noise via YouTube when it’s 3:26 a.m. and you’re wide awake eating cold, leftover Mapo tofu while panicking over having to give a video presentation on no sleep at 5:30 a.m. to your colleagues in Minsk. The only time golf has ever been remotely interesting in the past is because of Tiger Woods being a hot mess in his personal life and not because the game itself can hold anyone’s attention span worth a damn.
Today, all of that has changed, because a bizarrely brazen golf fan (none of those words belong together, ever) has turned the dull AF sport on its head by inserting the snappy element of thievery into the mix when he helped himself, in front of God and zillions of witnesses, to one of player Rory McIlroy‘s golf clubs at the Scottish Open on Friday. Step aside, Tiger’s dumpster fire of a personal life, because there’s a new golf scandal in town!
During the second round of the Scottish Open, a random man walked on to a tee box and stole a club out of Rory McIlroy’s golf bag.
McIlroy and his playing partners Jon Rahm and Justin Thomas appeared to be on the 10th tee box, ready to begin their second round at the Renaissance Club.
In what was a completely bizarre turn of events, a random man walked on to the tee box and took a club out of McIlroy’s bag and took it to the other side of the tee box, in footage posted by Duncan Carey.
He attempted to take the Northern Irishman’s driver but after pulling the headcover off, he took an iron out of his bag instead.
Here’s the whole scene, captured for posterity and so future golfers can refer to it when they need to remind themselves why they chose this ridiculous excuse for a sport and not something more grunt-inducing that leads to men sharing sweaty and awkward embraces:
McIlroy, his caddie Harry Diamond and Rahm could not believe what they had seen as they looked on in bewilderment. As the footage continues, Diamond is pondering what to do as the man remains stood on the tee box, but unfortunately, it’s unclear what happened thereafter.
It is a situation that we have almost never seen before and it will surely raise security concerns at the Scottish Open, as no spectator should be able to just stroll on to a course and steal one of the player’s clubs.
Bewilderingly, no one is talking about the true, breakout star of this weird-ass crime, which is the fuzzy and adorable doggie protector sleeve that the Mysterious Thief had first grabbed and that was the clear and true object of his thieving exercise, because who in their right mind would care about a stupid golf club when you can run off with the real prize on that golf course and put on a proper puppet show? The thief was no fool and traipsed off with both.