Open Post: Hosted By Cristiano Ronaldo Banishing Coca-Cola From A Press Conference

June 15, 2021 / Posted by:

Soccer star and walking piece of jerky, 36-year-old Cristiano Ronaldo, is currently partaking in the UEFA Euro football championships. TMZ says that during a media conference ahead of the game between Cristiano’s team, Portugal, and Hungary, he was seen specifically removing Coke bottles from his line of sight and praising some good old-fashioned H20. Maybe he should remember that good old-fashioned sponsorship deals exist before he blows some more of them.

Coke is a sponsor of Euro 2020, and like any good sponsor, they have their product all over the damn place. Too much so for tax-fraud admitting, accused rapist, and billionaire Cristiano. In a press conference, he removed the Coke bottles from his sight as though they were bottles of SPF. Cristiano then propped up his water bottle and shouted “Agua!”

This is part of a long-standing theme of hating processed foods, and it affects Cristiano’s kids too:

In fact, Ronaldo’s been on record saying he absolutely HATES when his son drinks Cokes and eats fries!!

Hates when his son eats fries… Wow… it must be fun having Cristiano as a father. Probably one step above having Jillian Michaels as a mother. Tom Brady–whose diet is notoriously reasonable–hopped onto Twitter to co-sign Crispy’s water push:

Do you see how CBS Sports said he’s “one of a kind?” For drinking water? Famous people can get away with the absolute bare minimum. You know humans die without water, right? But I bet that after that press conference, Cristiano secretly snatched those bottles of Coke and later used them as tanning lotion.


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