Jeffrey Toobin Returned To CNN After Getting Fired From The New Yorker For Masturbating On A Work Zoom Call

A lot of people had trouble adjusting to Zoom in the early days of the pandemic. I eventually had to break down and buy a light ring because I was unable to continue looking at myself under truck stop bathroom lighting. And CNN legal analyst Jeffery Toobin learned the semi-hard way that what’s appropriate for a truck stop bathroom isn’t necessarily appropriate in a work environment. Back in October, Jeffrey was on a Zoom call with his co-workers at his employer of 27-years, The New Yorker magazine. When a break was called, Jeffrey did what came naturally. He allegedly pulled out his ‘Lil Toobette and went to town not knowing (he insists) that his video was still on. An investigation ensued and Jeffrey was fired from The New Yorker and he took a leave of absence from CNN. 8 months later and Jeffrey’s back on the air at CNN being sure to keep his hands where we can see them but doing a bit too much rocking in his seat for my taste.

Jeffrey appeared on yesterday’s CNN Newsroom segment in the capacity of chief legal analyst, and of course, had to address the elephant in the room (he wishes, more like an Equatorial smooth-sided toad is my guess) before anyone could take him seriously. He was interviewed at the top of the segment by CNN anchor Alisyn Camerota, who had the unenviable job of being the one who actually had to say the word “masturbate” on-air while Jeffrey sat there looking like a naughty little boy who is about to get his knuckles rapped by a nun (which is probably his kink). According to CNN:

Jeffrey Toobin returned to CNN as the network’s chief legal analyst on Thursday, eight months after he exposed himself during a Zoom call with colleagues at The New Yorker.

“I feel like we should address what’s happened in the months since we’ve seen you,” Camerota said. She summarized the situation and said, “To quote Jay Leno, ‘What the hell were you thinking?'”

Toobin described himself as a “flawed human being who makes mistakes” and said his conduct was “deeply moronic and indefensible.”

He added, “I didn’t think other people could see me,” but he admitted that was no defense.

And here I thought I had one of the only jobs in America where I could get away with oopsie-diddling in front of my co-workers, and that’s only because Allison insists that I do. But CNN apparently believes Jeffrey has learned his lesson. Jeffrey says he has been in therapy, and even volunteered at a food bank!

Toobin said he has spent his “miserable months” off-air “trying to be a better person.”

He mentioned “therapy;” public service like working a food bank; and a forthcoming book about the Oklahoma City bombing.

“I am trying to become the kind of person that people can trust again,” he said.

Attention food bank shoppers in the New York metropolitan area! Wipe those groceries down before bringing them into the house. No, it’s nothing to do with coronavirus. Just trust me on this, you’ll thank me later. Here’s Jeffrey’s Mea-Toucha where he also talks about how he was wronged by The New Yorker, is pretty sure nothing else will come out about him and how Saturday Night Live hurt his feelings.

Jeffrey is obviously enrolled in the Dua Lipa “Go girl, give us nothing“ school of Interviews and Tap Dancing.

Pic: YouTube