We already know from the detailed daily schedule he shared with us a couple of years ago that despite being incredibly rich and famous, Mark Wahlberg lives a miserable existence. Maybe that’s karma. Mark may have had his “Hate Crimes” stripped from his Wikipedia page, but the universe never forgets. Even when he’s doing something that sounds awesome on the surface, like needing to gain weight for a movie role by eating pork chops and bacon, the universe plotted to make it as painful and joyless as possible. According to Page Six, Mahky Mahk has been on a 7,000 calorie a day diet in an effort to gain 30 pounds for the movie Stu which requires him to wake up at 3:00 AM to eat eggs before working out. Universe, I see you, you sly minx. Good job!
Page Six reports:
Mark Wahlberg’s personal chef is helping him to put on the 30 pounds he needs to gain in a short period of time.
Lawrence Duran customized a 7,000-calorie meal plan for the “Ted” actor, who already gained 20 pounds in three weeks for his movie “Stu,” to help him get to the goal weight safely.
“He’s eating about every three hours. We do good carbohydrates, dark green vegetables, and then, just switch up the protein throughout the day and, at least, a dozen eggs a day.”
Duran said 49-year-old Wahlberg’s “pre-breakfast” of four eggs is at 3 a.m. when he first wakes up and before his daily workout, and then he eats another eight eggs and six strips of bacon, one cup of rice, two tablespoons of olive oil and a protein shake after he gets in his exercise.
The “Deepwater Horizon” star then eats meals consisting of veal chops, pork chops, steak, fish and grains every three hours. Wahlberg ends his day with “a mash that consists of one cup of cooked steel-cut oatmeal, two tablespoons of applesauce, two tablespoons of jelly or jam, two tablespoons of almond butter and a tablespoon of molasses” right before bed.
“It’s just another mass gainer to put on weight during his sleep,” Duran explained.
My jaw is getting tired just reading about it. This reminds me of Charlize Theron talking about the “night macaroni” she kept by her bed when she had to gain 50 pounds for Tully. Mark needs to stop working out! I too could gain 30 pounds in my sleep, but I guess Mark isn’t ready for the time and commitment to being a lazy slug that it requires. Mark shared some of his gains on Instagram, and he doesn’t even look that fat!
Kenny, what are you doing?! You better watch your back, brother! Because Mark practically lives at the gym (when he’s not pulling double duty spending scheduled time with his kids while taking work calls inside of his cryo-chamber and praying), he won’t have too hard of a time taking it off. Or so says his personal chef.
“For him, he can drop it pretty quick. Within a few weeks you’ll probably see a drastic change,” Duran shared. “But he’s been doing this his whole life, whereas for the average person, it may take months on end. Not everyone’s body is the same and his meal plan may not work for you or I.”
An endless cycle and no Oscar in sight. As I said, the universe knows what it’s doing.