Open Post: Hosted By Victoria Beckham’s Bucket Of Her Children’s Teeth
The actual tooth bucket isn’t pictured, but we’ll just have to take Victoria Beckham‘s word for it that it exists somewhere in her 7,500-square-foot clothes closet (it’s at least that big), carefully poised among vintage Spice Girl outfits, prototypes from her clothing line, and neatly labeled, lidded containers of her thousands of grave and grim facial expressions, dated and cross-referenced for easy retrieval.
If you listen closely, you can hear the tooth bucket sighing with an oddly sentient curiosity about Victoria’s urge to nostalgically gather her children’s naturally shed tooth bits while she prefers never to expose her own teeth by smiling for a camera.
Victoria and husband David Beckham share four children: Brooklyn, 22, Romeo, 18, Cruz, 16, and Harper, 9. In other words, that’s a lot of teeth and promissory notes from the Tooth Fairy over the years. The latest round of dental droppage was daughter Harper’s. According to People:
Victoria Beckham might be adding a jewelry line of gold-dipped children’s teeth to her next apparel collection.
On Saturday, the fashion designer, 47, revealed she has “an entire bucket” of her children’s teeth as she played Tooth Fairy for daughter Harper Seven, 9. “Okay, so Harper Seven’s tooth fell out last night, she left her tooth by her bed,” Beckham said, narrating a video on her Instagram Story.
The mom of four revealed some sweet handwritten notes left by the Tooth Fairy, including some on heart-shaped paper. “And look, the Tooth Fairy came, left her a little note,” Victoria explained. “Left her a few little notes, to tell Harper she’s funny, sensitive, smart, generous, kind, a great daughter, she’s loving, a great sister.
Victoria then asked her followers what the parents among them do with their collection of children’s teeth. I’m not a parent, but if I were, I’m pretty sure I’d throw the nasty things away, but you never really know until you’re faced with a sweetly timeworn baggie of kiddie teeth, a gnawing pang of nostalgia, and the looming specter of garbage day. It’s not as easy as it sounds!
One solution was proposed by son Brooklyn’s fiancée, 26-year-old Nicola Peltz. She and Brooklyn wear each other’s gold-dipped wisdom teeth as jewelry:
#NicolaPeltz suggests future mother-in-law #VictoriaBeckham dip all her kids' lost teeth in gold and wear them on a necklace–just like she and #BrooklynBeckham dohttps://t.co/8GrdbXfVGQ
— ET Canada (@ETCanada) May 2, 2021
I guess it’s not the messiest bit of someone’s body you could wear around your neck. Deep in her crypt lined luxuriously in laminated pics of Brad Pitt expertly ‘shopped with images of venomous spiders sucking the life out of his limbs, Angelina Jolie is rage-cackling, “Amateurs!”
But back to Casa Beckham, here’s the sweet note left to Harper in exchange for her tooth, and it’s probably a safe bet that Victoria will soon add a limited line of gilded molar buttons to class up a business suit:
Victoria Beckham is mother to three sons and a daughter and has revealed that she has a collection of their milk teeth hidden awayhttps://t.co/ktd0dXB0MO
— EveWoman (@EveWomanKenya) May 2, 2021