LOL this bitch again. Thomas Middleditch, star of Silicon Valley/fan of swinging and (allegedly) sexual assault and misconduct, has agreed to pay his now ex-wife Mollie Gates $2.6 million in their divorce settlement. 33-year-old costume designer Mollie will receive 39-year-old Thomas’ payments until next December. These two got married in 2015, and news of their split broke last May. And wouldn’t ya know it? Thomas’ 2019 Playboy interview, the one where he bragged that swinging saved his marriage, is listed as one of the reasons for Mollie’s big payout. There are not enough LOLs in the world…
Mollie will take the $2.6 million and also keep her car and personal items she owned before they got married. Thomas will keep his house and condo in LA, a cabin on Big Bear Lake, Canadian home, and residuals, royalties, business entities, and his own car.
In case you’ve been living on another planet (read: have no interest in following the career or personal life of this muskrat-faced white boy comedian), Thomas told Playboy that he gave his wife an ultimatum: become swingers or the marriage wouldn’t work:
Only after I got married was I like, “Mollie, I’m sorry, but we have to get nontraditional here.” To her credit, instead of saying “Fuck you, I’m out,” she was like, “Let’s figure this out.” To be honest, swinging has saved our marriage. We have different speeds, and we argue over it constantly, but it’s better than feeling unheard and alone and that you have to scurry in the shadows.
Lovely. Months later Thomas went on a podcast and that he wishes he could take the interview back, and that it was “poor execution.” He says it was “a painful learning experience.” Thomas claims he “wasn’t expecting it”, and the Playboy piece had changed his relationship with media. Yes, it is very unexpected when the magazine publishes the things you say with your mouth in the interview.
Now, the Playboy swinging interview was September 2019. Last month Thomas was accused of sexual assault and misconduct, and he has yet to address it. Those accusations stem from creepy shit he allegedly pulled in October 2019 (harassing a 21-year-old woman at a goth club and groping her without consent). Mollie and Thomas separated May 22, 2020 and filed for divorce a week later. Wow. Life moves pretty fast when you’re one of the Silicon Valley Creeps™!