Hot Slut Of The Day!
7 Up’s dnL!
It was announced earlier this week that the Smurf piss in a bottle known as Pepsi Blue is making a comeback and will be back on soda shelves in May. Well, if the makers of 7 Up want to inject people with some caffeinated nostalgia while getting a tax write-off for re-releasing a flop product, they should head to the back of their warehouse, wipe off the ninety layers of dust from the old boxes of dnL they were unable to get rid of, and sell it once again! Because while tricks of the early-aughts didn’t want an upside-down 7 Up, tricks of today might (SPOILER ALERT: No, they won’t!).
Keurig Dr. Pepper unleased 7 Up dnL on the world in June 2002. It was supposed to be everything the original 7 Up was not. 7 Up doesn’t have caffeine but dnL did. 7 Up had a subtle citrus flavor but dnL had a strong citrus flavor. 7 Up is a clear drink that comes in a green bottle or can, and dnL was a green drink that came in a clear bottle. So dnL was the MC Skat Kat to Paula Abdul’s 7 Up. The name dnL is also the 7 Up logo rotated 180°. The Soda Fandom says that Keurig barely marketed dnL and that’s what helped it flop.
The limited amount of marketing created for dnL focused on its “upside-down” theme, including its slogan, “Turn your thirst upside-down.” The color was also similar to Pepsi’s Mountain Dew soft drink, and, like Mountain Dew, was developed primarily to compete with The Coca-Cola Company’s Sprite, Fanta, and Mello Yello.
Here’s a dnL commercial starring its mascot, Willie, a bold little leprechaun who dared call a policeman a “moron” and lived to tell the tale. Not only that, but somehow that leprechaun-sized bottle of dnL became a human-sized bottle when it ended up in the cops’ hand. My guess is that either the cop is on LSD or dnL’s secret ingredient was LSD and Keurig fucked up by not making that the star of its marketing campaign.
Well, I guess if you’re missing dnL, you can just drink a regular 7 Up while hanging upside down. It won’t have caffeine in it but all the sugar rushing to your head will take you up, up, and away. Or it’ll make your head fall off.
Pic: Keurig Dr. Pepper