Cohesion Be Damned: The Fashions From The Academy Of Country Music Awards

April 19, 2021 / Posted by:

The Academy of Country Music Awards aired last night on CBS and Paramount+ and since it’s a country music awards show you know they brought a varying degree of outfits. Since Coronvirus award shows are old bag at this point, there was much less focus on masks this time around. Which led to an absolute cluster fuck of fashion choices. But it also tells me that nature is healing! Miranda Lambert went mask-free. COVID-19’s days are numbered!

A very pregnant Elle King performed with Miranda and got dressed up in matching leather outfits with some fluorescent tassels which you would absolutely see on some high-femme, leather gay at Folsom:

Miranda soon swapped into a full-denim cowboy outfit proving that the denim industry will never die out so long as country singers need outfits to wear to one of the 10 million country music awards shows:

The self-annointed “Country Music goth” Devin Dawson wore a plaid/black ombre suit:

Jimmie Allen showed up looking like if Barney was a track star by day and a pimp by night:

Little Big Town closed the night in color-coordinated outfits and I’m loving the thigh-highs on Karen Fairchild. They were a man down as member Philip Sweet is battling COVID-19, but they still managed to perform their song which lists my favorite food groups: Wine, Beer, Whiskey.

Though I am a bit confused why there seems to be a random dude floating at the side of their performance?

The fuck is that about?

Kelsea Ballerini brought her mask to the red carpet to serve some formal Jade from Mortal Kombat-realness complete with that Angelina Jolie-leg thing which everyone does now:

Blanco Brown paid tribute to DMX who died earlier this month:

Khloé Kardashian Maren Morris looked great in a long champagne gown:

And as we all know, a country event cannot be called authentic without the appearance of an under-dressed straight man of immense wealth. This time brought to us courtesy of Blake Shelton:

And then on the flip-side to Blake, there was Leslie Jordan, who turned up to that event like a glorious gay cowboy! If the city of Santa Fe was a person with flawless taste, it’d look like this:

Unclear what Leslie Jordan has to do with country music but I’m glad he showed up to the event to remind these hoes what a fashion risk really is. Sure he looks like if Kesha took peyote in the desert, but not all risks pay off.

Pic: YouTube

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