Matthew McConaughey Is Once Again Talking About Running For Governor Of Texas
Q: HASN’T TEXAS SUFFERED ENOUGH?!!?!
A: I guess fucking not!
Matthew McConaughey (seen above in David Koresh cosplay) has laid down a threat to Texas by saying that the thought of running for the governor of his home state is brewing in his brain. So yeah, it looks like Matthew is still smoking the weed strain that causes him to have strange hallucinations, like the image of him as governor opening a State of the State Undress Address with a naked bongo performance.
In the Texas T-Rex’s defense, he has been helping out Texas after it was hit hard by a winter storm. Matthew and his wife, Camila Alves McConaughey, are hosting a virtual fundraiser next Sunday to help those who were affected by the storm. The benefit will feature appearances by Willie Nelson, Don Henley, Kelly Clarkson, Miranda Lambert, and Mr. & Mrs. Shiplap McBarnDoors.
51-year-old Matthew has been making the media rounds to promote the benefit, and since he’s stuck his tip into the political hole by brain-farting out his thoughts on the “illiberal left,” telling everyone to embrace Trump, and teasing the idea of running for Governor of Texas, he was asked if he’s serious about throwing his bong into the gubernatorial ring in 2022. The reign of Texas’ current governor, Greg Abbott, ends in 2022 and he’s expected to run for a third term. The Austin American-Statesman asked Matthew if he’s considering making a run to be Governor Texas T-Rex, and he honorably is:
I would say, as far as running, I’m not until I am. So my decision hasn’t changed because I’m still not. Am I giving it honest consideration? Yeah. I’d be a fool not to. And it’s an honorable consideration. I still have to answer the same question for myself and my family. Honestly. Is that the truest and best category for me to be most useful? I’m ready to step into a leadership position in this next chapter of my life, but I don’t know that that’s in politics.
As for if Matthew will run as a Democratic, Republican, or Independent, he let us know with his response that he’ll probably run as a member of the HighAsFuck Party.
Look, I’m a “Meet You in the Middle” man. When I say “aggressively centric,” that sometimes gets parceled over there with “Oh, that’s a shade of grey, a compromise.” And I say, “Bullshit. That’s a dare. Right now, that’s radical. You wanna be brave? Come on over here.” Why? Because you got more agility, cause you got more adaptability. Because there’s different situations for different sides. Sometimes the left is better at this, sometimes the right. There’s different choices for different circumstances.
And right now, where politics has gone, where the great divide not only in Texas but in the United States, the left thinks the right’s racist and the right thinks the left’s Socialist. Well, that ain’t true. Then you go, well, the left is for empathy, compassion and solidarity; well the right’s for resilience and work ethic and responsibility. I’m like, I like all six of those. Those are values that our mamas taught us. The right and the left don’t have ownership of those, excluding the other side.
Matthew was also on the Today show yesterday, and Al Roker brought up the governor shit. Matthew repeated that he’s thinking about it and wants to take on a leadership role soon:
Look, it’s a very honorable consideration. So am I considering that? Sure, it’s a great thing and an honorable thing to be able to consider.
What I’ve gotta choose for myself is, I want to get into a leadership role in the next chapter of my life. Now, what role am I gonna be most useful in? I don’t know that that’s in a political position, or if that’s me as a free agent. It might be me as a free agent. So that’s something I’m personally working on is what is my position of most use in a leadership role.
“Err, can you start with leading me to a shampoo bottle?” – Matthew’s hair.
And well, Matthew’s already got the vote of Austin’s own Jessie Norwood!
This is one of those “celebrities are NOT just like us” situations. Because both The Rock and Matthew McConaughey have never held political office and yet some people are seriously considering them as candidates for top politicals jobs. But when I go into the In-N-Out headquarters and say, “Hello, I’d like an application for CEO, and no, I have no experience with running a major company and burned the last hamburger I tried to make,” they call security on my ass!
Pic: NBC/YouTube