Gwyneth Paltrow Had COVID-19 Early On And Has Some Very Goopy Solutions To Her Long-Lasting Symptoms
People says that Gwyneth Paltrow revealed she had COVID-19 early on in the pandemic. Like some, Gwyneth has had long-lasting effects like “long-tail fatigue and brain fog.” But luckily she’s a multi-millionaire wellness mogul and found the perfect ways to deal with her health issues. And as I’m sure you can guess, it’s very expensive very affordable.
48-year-old Gwyneth revealed her bout with coronavirus in a blog post on Goop. And of course, no blog post on Goop is complete without Gwyneth trying to sell you stuff. In her article titled, “GP’s Picks: Healing My Body with a Longer-Term Detox”, Gwyneth explains how she came upon her latest regimen after coronavirus left her with some long-lasting symptoms:
A little background: I had COVID-19 early on, and it left me with some long-tail fatigue and brain fog. In January, I had some tests done that showed really high levels of inflammation in my body. So I turned to one of the smartest experts I know in this space, the functional medicine practitioner Dr. Will Cole. After he saw all my labs, he explained that this was a case where the road to healing was going to be longer than usual.
Don’t worry though, this Dr. also happens to have a forthcoming book where he explains some of his wellness regimens. Coincidental! Gwyneth’s personal routine involves fasting until 11:00 am every day, eating a “keto and plant-based but flexible” diet, and supplements–because obviously, how else is she gonna sell you supplements? Oh, and as a “gift to my body” she’s “working out in the mornings, and I’m doing an infrared sauna as often as I can, all in service of healing.” Infrared. Sauna. It doesn’t even look like what you think it does. As a peasant, you probably envision a sauna room with red lasers, right? Same. It’s like a blanket:
Do you see how it’s “non-returnable?” Gwyneth also promoted her G. Label $145 black tank top in the article, because you can wear it while you work out, obviously.
Leave it to Gwyneth Paltrow to come out with an article which should be called “How to Spend Lots of Money–Coronavirus Wellness Edition.” Most people who are making money off of the padameic are doing so by selling masks and/or hand sanitizer. Gwyneth must have thought, “Pft, amateurs!” Can’t wait for her next controversial candle: “This Smells Like Coronavirus.” It’s unscented (get it?). Gwyneth should just thank her lucky stars that her bout with Coronavirus went better than the last time she caught a contagious plague:
If only Beth Emhoff had an infrared sauna, she’d have stood a chance!
Pic: Wenn.com