Hot Slut Of The Day!
The Teddy Bear Balloon Prisoner!
Today is International Day Before All The Valentine’s Day Candy Goes On Sale Day, and to celebrate it, I am paying tribute to one of the epitomes of potent romance: the teddy bear balloon! The teddy bear balloon is still around today, but back in the late-80s and early-90s, I really thought it was a work of elegant decadance and a token of true love. Because you know, nothing says “I love you” like a teddy bear imprisoned in a blown-up condom. That might be a euphenism…
Long before Balloon Boy, there was (and still is) Balloon Bear. I could not find the origin story for Balloon Bear, but I’m sure HBO Max is working on a ten-part docu-series about it. But when I was a kid, sometimes a classmate would get a very, extra special delivery in the form of a Balloon Bear on Valentimes or their birthday. I’d always roll my little gay eyes at them, because they just had to have it delivered to them in school to make all of us explode with jealousy. And I did! Because the Balloon Bear was so modern and so opulent to me. The Balloon Bear was also ahead of its time. During these times of corona, some of us wish we could travel lin a germ-blocking bubble. The Balloon Bear also did a perfect impersonation of me trapped in a bubble of my own delusion.
As for how the bear gets in the balloon, the pros don’t just shove that bear in (which is also my Saturday night fantasy). They use an extremly technologically advanced bubble-thing to trap that bear in a balloon:
And I’m going to end this post by giving you the number: 1-800-348-6723. That’s 1-800-DIVORCE, which you should immediately call if your wedded piece doesn’t give you a Balloon Bear on this VD!
Pic: ForgetMeNotFlowers