Angelina Jolie Covers The March Issue Of British Vogue And Mentioned Brad Pitt In Passing
Angelina Jolie is ready for another close-up, Mr. Demille. In fact, the photoshoot for the most recent profile of Angie, for the March cover of British Vogue, takes place in Mr. Demille’s old mansion, where she currently lives with all six members of the child army. Not only is the “discrete estate” an “eye-catching” 1913 “Italianate Revival villa,” but it’s also only 5 minutes away from her children’s dad, probably some unkempt slub who owns a television set and allows the children to eat those appalling orange triangle-shaped snack foods. I think they’re called Pooritos or something like that.
That’s the sole passing mention of Angelina’s mostly ex-husband Brad Pitt. The rest of the interview is a series of not-so-subtle plugs for Guerlain, for which she is the brand ambassador, and how she is saving the environment by wearing “vintage pieces” until they’re worn out. Here’s what Angie had to say about living just a stone’s throw from Brad (and you better believe she measured that shit herself).
Vogue: There definitely is. We had the great pleasure of photographing you at your home, which also happens to be the former estate of Cecil B DeMille. How wonderful…
Angie: I wanted it to be close to their dad, who is only five minutes away. I felt a little pressure moving in. Like I had snuck into where DeMille and Chaplin would hang out. I love most that there is no entertainment room, but lots of pathways and places to walk and think. I feel very fortunate we have that at this time.
You see, normal snobs who want you to know how sophisticated they are will tell you they don’t own a TV. But I such pedestrian snobbery is beneath Angie. She’s got to let us know there is no entertainment room. You know, one of those rooms where the sophisticatedly-challenged put their televisions and other ungainly electronic devices with their myriad cords and other such uncouth accouterments. Angie was probably like, “the children’s father has one of these, though I’ve never seen it myself. But here at home with mumsy, quiet contemplation is plenty entertainment enough for my worldly brood. Mad speaks Russian, don’t you know. A child of such talents has no need for *gestures vaguely with a sweep of the sleeve on her vintage Edith Head kaftan once owned by Elizabeth Taylor (presumed, the kaftan she wore for the photoshoot looks like it might have come from Kohl’s or at least I hope so because I want one)* such asinine distractions.” Or so I imagine. The part about Mad speaking Russian is true though!
Angie was also asked what a typical day for her family looks like now. Sounds like Angie’s starting to accept the fact that she’s going to have to stay put for a while.
Well, I was never very good at sitting still. Even though I wanted to have many children and be a mom, I always imagined it kind of like Jane Goodall, travelling in the middle of the jungle somewhere. I didn’t imagine it in that true, traditional sense. I feel like I’m lacking in all the skills to be a traditional stay-at-home mom. I’m managing through it because the children are quite resilient, and they’re helping me, but I’m not good at it at all.
Obviously, Angie didn’t go into any details about the divorce drama that unfolded last year, only saying that “the past few years have been pretty hard. I’ve been focusing on healing our family. It’s slowly coming back, like the ice melting and the blood returning to my body.” I guess The Great Defrosting of Angelia Jolie has been going on since at least November of 2019 because she used a similar line in her cover story for Harper’s Bazaar. Can’t have that blood rush back in too fast or she might pass the fuck out! I’m sorry, she might gently swoon onto a vintage velvet fainting couch. Here are photos from the shoot.
And here’s Angie playing a game of What’s In The Bag?!?! Don’t get too excited, it’s not Gwyneth Paltrow’s head.
Pic: Craig McDean/Vogue UK