George Clooney Shares The Reason Why He Didn’t Give His Children “Weird-Ass Names”

January 29, 2021 / Posted by:

Last decade, George Clooney became his own real-life version of Sliding Doors when he did the very Alternate Reality George Cooney thing of settling down and getting married to Amal Clooney and having twins who are now 3 years old. Even though George and Amal are celebrities, they gave their twins the very normal names of Alexander and Ella. Being famous is the reason why George and Amal picked those names because Alexander and Ella already being saddled with the pressure that comes from being very wealthy and famous.

George recently spoke to AARP magazine, which might seem like a bit of a strange get for a magazine catering to retired persons, until you realize that tequila tycoon George is 59 years old and does claim to be semi-retired from acting. The subject of his children came up. George has said previously that he and Amal didn’t want to curse their offspring with “dumb” names. You can’t tell me that wasn’t George’s subtle way of dragging celebrity parents who seem to be in this unspoken contest of who can play the fast and loose with what technically qualifies as a baby name. George is at it again, except this time he’s coming for “weird-ass” names because he feels it’s especially cruel to give a weird name to a child of a celebrity.

“I didn’t want, like, weird-ass names for our kids,” he said of his kids Ella and Alexander. They’re already going to have enough trouble. It’s hard being the son of somebody famous and successful.”

That’s when the conversation took a dark turn with George bringing up the children of celebrities who died by suicide and George believes that’s because they were constantly compared to their famous parent:

“Paul Newman’s son killed himself. Gregory Peck’s son killed himself. Bing Crosby had two sons kill themselves. I have an advantage because I’m so much older that by the time my son would feel competitive, I’ll literally be gumming bread.”

That was certainly a transition. But I think that George might have sadly underestimated his perfect-naming plan. Because like George said, his children have a famous and successful father who is in the entertainment business. Based on my very incorrect estimation, at least 98% of celebrity children have names that fall on the weird spectrum. So if the Clooney kids eventually work the nepotism their daddy gave them, it could be in an industry where no one has a “normal” name, and they’ll be the weird ones out. I mean, imagine what it will be like for Alexander or Ella if their famous last name lands them an internship at Tesla Motors & Mars Film Studios in 2038? The poor CEO of development, X AE A-Xii Musk, will say, “Can I just call you El X and EL-A? We’ve just never seen a celebrity child with a name so weird here before.”


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