It seems being married to Alec Baldwin actually has some advantages! In addition to being more than generous with what Hilaira Baldwin likes to call his “esperma,” Alec it would seem, also has a direct line to The New York Times. A boon should you ever find yourself in a predicament where your integrity is being challenged to have unfettered access to the paper of record to clear your name. Regretfully, for her (but delightfully for us), a further attempt to clear things up by subjecting herself to an interview in the NYT only made things worse. Hilaria really fucked herself with a pepino this time. And pepinos don’t even contain any esperma!
Instead of just saying, “you got me!” and laughing it off, Hilaria dug in her flamenco heels. So while Hilaria does address many of our burning questions in the interview, she gave evasive, defensive, and laughable answers to them. The only way out of this mess now would be for Hilaria and Alec to pack up the kids and move to Spain. Luckily for them, you don’t have to be born there to move there. I think if you have enough money, they will just give you a visa.
We now know that Hilaria (née Hilary) was born in Boston, Massachusetts to regular old white Americans. It’s hardly her fault people assumed anything different, even though she’s spent the past 10 years speaking with a Spanish accent, stating that Spain is “my country” and calling it “home,” allowing her birthplace to repeatedly be reported as Mallorca, Spain by ¡Hola! Magazine, (for which she has posed for the cover of twice) and by her talent agency CAA, and giving her five children Spanish names. And while citing “boundaries,” she refused to disclose the frequency or duration of her childhood trips to Spain, we do know that during her NYT interview she “cuddled and nursed her infant son.” But with which tit, Hilaria!? The people deserve to know! According to the NYT:
“The things I have shared about myself are very clear,” Ms. Baldwin said. “I was born in Boston. I spent time in Boston and in Spain. My family now lives in Spain. I moved to New York when I was 19 years old and I have lived here ever since. For me, I feel like I have spent 10 years sharing that story over and over again. And now it seems like it’s not enough.”
Spain is a country long loved by her parents, David L. Thomas Jr., who practiced real estate law for white shoe firms, and Dr. Kathryn Hayward, a retired internal medicine specialist at Massachusetts General Hospital and assistant professor at Harvard Medical School. Through a spokeswoman for Ms. Baldwin, Mr. Thomas and Dr. Hayward declined to comment.
NYT adds that Hilaria purposefully left her parents names out of her 2012 NYT wedding announcement to protect their privacy now that their daughter was marrying all four of The Beatles plus Brad Pitt, I mean Alec Baldwin.
“We have this thing called oversharing, which I’ve actually been accused of,” she said. But she says that idea oversimplifies and misunderstands her boundaries. “My children are young enough and I’m just sharing sweet little things of them.”
But when it comes to her parents, well, she even left them out of her 2012 wedding announcement. “Where does something stop being your story and start being someone else’s?” she asked. And, to shield her parents from press attention that would fall upon them simply because their daughter married someone really famous, she said she had purposefully avoided sharing details of her upbringing.
Nevertheless, Spain “was something that was part of my father’s childhood,” Ms. Baldwin said. “He would go there when he was younger and created these deep, deep, deep bonds and it was something that was part of my childhood. It was something my father introduced to my mother when they met, when they were pretty young.”
Ms. Baldwin first visited Spain with her parents when she was a baby, she said, and she went at least yearly thereafter. She declined to explain in detail how frequently they traveled there or how long they stayed. “I think it would be maddening to do such a tight time line of everything. You know, sometimes there was school involved. Sometimes it was vacation. It was such a mix, mishmash, is that the right word? Like a mix of different things.”
Still reaching for English words, Hilaria is about it! I’m impressed. And so apparently was Alec when they met at a vegan restaurant in 2011.
She was speaking in Spanish to an Argentine man and his girlfriend who were seated at a table next to one where Mr. Baldwin was seated. “I walked by him,” she said of Mr. Baldwin and he called out to her, “‘Who are you, I must know you, I must know you,’” she recalled. “He said, ‘Where are you from?’ And I said, ‘I’m from Boston.’ That was the first thing I said, that has always been my narrative.” (Still: “My wife is from Spain,” Mr. Baldwin once said, on television, to David Letterman.)
It’s a beautiful fantasy, who can blame them!? And calling it her “narrative,” is just beso del chef! There’s enough wobbly logic in this interview to suggest that Hilaria is completely detached from reality. Which can happen when you’re simultaneously married to Ringo Starr and the ghost of John Lennon. It gets confusing.
She said she didn’t think that her referring in online posts to her travel to Spain as “going home” was misleading. “Home is where my parents are going to be,” she said. “If my parents move to China, I am going to go to China and say, ‘I’m going home.’” (Though she has said her family has roots in Spain, she said she was speaking colloquially. “These people who I call my family, I am learning in this particular situation, I have to say, ‘People who we have considered to be our family.’”)
See, this is why we need rigorous journalism the likes of which the New York Times is known for. But unfortunately, that’s not what this is. For example, Hilaria addressed the time she was giving a live demonstration of her gazpacho recipe at the People en Espanol Festival in New York City, pointed at a cucumber, turned to her host, Telemundo’s Evi Siskos, and said “how do you say in English?” Hilaria claims that was just a “brain fart.” Ok, fine. But if your husband is not Alec Baldwin, this would be the point in the interview where you are asked, why are you, a white lady from Boston with no Spanish heritage, being asked to demonstrate how to make gazpacho at the People en Espanol Festival and what’s up with the phantom accent while we’re at it? But she is married to Alec Baldwin and so we must move on. But you first, Alec.
In order to appreciate good journalism and good writing, you’ve got to take a good look at the bad.
This is Marlow Stern.
This is the bad writing.
No. Make that awful writing:https://t.co/pihCG0UgGq
— AlecBaldwin(HABF) (@AlecBaldwin) December 30, 2020