Gird Your Loins And Neck: HBO Is Bringing “True Blood” Back

December 9, 2020 / Posted by:

Gratuitous titties, ass and dicks are about to make a comeback in a big way. Variety reports that HBO is rebooting True Blood, the show that put the “erection” in resurrection. And it’s being developed by Roberto Aguirre-Sacasa, the man who put the “erection” in Archie Andrews’ pants when he created Riverdale. Alan Ball, the show’s original showrunner, will return as an executive producer.

Variety says that “at this time, none of the show’s original cast is attached to return,” which is great news for Benedict Cumberbatch who now has the opportunity to slip into Vampire Bill’s fangs as he almost did back in 2008 when the show first debuted. And he better act fast before Mario Lopez steals his last opportunity to trot out that chicken-fried Colonel Sanders accent you just know he’s been dying to try.

A “True Blood” reboot is in the early development stages at HBO, Variety has confirmed with sources.

Roberto Aguirre-Sacasa and Jami O’Brien are attached to write the script and executive produce, with original series creator and showrunner Alan Ball also attached to executive produce. At this time, none of the show’s original cast is attached to return.

The original “True Blood” is based on “The Southern Vampire Mysteries” novel series by Charlaine Harris. It debuted on HBO in 2008 and ran for seven seasons until 2014. Ball was the showrunner on five of the seven seasons. The series took place in a world in which vampires live among humans after the creation of a synthetic blood substitute that allowed vampires to stop hunting humans for food. There were also a myriad of other fantasy creatures in the show, including werewolves and witches.

Anna Paquin starred as telepathic waitress Sookie Stackhouse. The show also starred Alexander Skarsgård, Joe Manganiello, Stephen Moyer, Sam Trammell, Ryan Kwanten, and Rutina Wesley.

True Blood was notable for a lot of reasons, few of them good. Yes, it gave us one of the greatest TV characters of the era with Lafayette, but he was played so sublimely by the late Nelsan Ellis, that all the credit is to him. It also gave us many lovely man-meats to behold, particularly those of ASkars as Vampire Eric, Joe Manjello as Alcide the werewolf, and Ryan as dumb as a bricks Jason Stackhouse who eventually turned into a werepanther? I think? It was a mess, especially towards the end there when I had to look up if a maenad was a real thing or something they just made up for the show. Turns out, maenads actually do exist!

With Roberto, who’s also responsible for Chilling Adventures of Sabrina and an upcoming Pretty Little Liars reboot, at the helm, I’m sure the new recruits will all be winsome 20 somethings playing winsome teens who love to fuck and suck. Which is all we ever wanted from True Blood to begin with. So let the Bon Temps (residents) roll (around with their titties, asses, and dicks hanging out, all covered in blood)!


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