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December 7, 2020 / Posted by:

Dionne Warwick’s Twitter Page!

Dionne Warwick is a legend, an icon, a magnificent number-getter, and a hussy slayer for the ages. And now she can add “Twitter philosopher” to her never-ending list of accomplishments. At almost 80 years old, Cousine Dionne is showing the young tricks on Twitter that she can easily beat them at their own game (with help from her niece).

Dionne Warwick joined Twitter in 2012, but recently, more and more people have become disciples of her Twitter page, and they curl around it as she dispenses words of wisdom like telling the youngins to stop SCREAMING and YELLING as a response to something they like or think is funny. And over the weekend, she really brought more disciples to her Twitter altar when she asked the question that has kept all of us up at night: Why does Chance The Rapper put “rapper” in his stage name when we all know he is a rapper?

After Chance The Rapper responded by letting Cousin Dionne know that he’s also Chance The Dionne Warwick Fan, she got everyone screaming (to themselves of course since Dionne declared that screaming out loud isn’t a thing we do anymore) over the collaboration of the century between Chance The Rapper and Dionne The Rapper.

And after Dionne pondered “The Rapper” in Chance’s stage name, she went after spellcheck’s greatest nemesis: The Weeknd’s name.

I know that Dionne Warwick is not the one to question, but everyone knows that The Weeknd mistook the third e in Weekend for Ecstasy and swallowed it up, hoping for a good roll. And The Weeknd really went up, up, and away over Dionne fucking with him:

And it was all fun and roasting until some hating hussies once again accused Dionne of using a ghost-tweeter. Dionne has said before that her niece Brittani helps her with her Twitter, and even though she told Andy Cohen that Brittani and her team come up with the posts, she let the Tweeters know today that she tweets her own stuff, thankyouverymuch.

Not only does Dionne got your number, hussy, but so does her back-up Pom Poms behind her. And while I believe that Dionne comes up with some of her posts, there’s no way she does the actual tweeting. A queen like Dionne doesn’t use the tool of a peasant like an iPhone. Dionne probably sends the words to Brittani and then Brittani tweets it and yes, Dionne sends it to Brittani through a real queen’s communication tool: THE FAX MACHINE!

Pic: Twitter

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