Hot Slut Of The Day!

November 24, 2020 / Posted by:
The Rectangular Metal Alien Dildo (that’s what it is, right?) that was found in the middle of the Utah desert!
This shit is too heavy, we have to go back!” is what I say about three minutes into a hike while holding onto a water bottle and a backpack full of the emergency necessities (weed, a fully charged iPad with downloaded porn on it, and snacks), but somehow, someone or something managed to get a giant monolith thing into the middle of the desert in Utah. So either the aliens have set down their headquarters for their eventual earth takeover, or we’re looking at some Desert X-style HIGH ART, or it’s all marketing for the eventual reboot of 2001: A Space Odyssey called… wait for it…. wait for it… 2020: A Space Odyssey.

KLSTV reports that helicopter pilot Bret Hutchings and wildlife officers were flying over a remote part of the desert in southern Utah to count bighorn sheep in the area when a biologist spotted the silver pillar and so they all went in to investigate:

“One of the biologists is the one who spotted it and we just happened to fly directly over the top of it,” said pilot Bret Hutchings. “He was like, ‘Whoa, whoa, whoa, turn around, turn around!’ And I was like, ‘what.’ And he’s like, ‘There’s this thing back there – we’ve got to go look at it!’”

The crew circled back and landed the helicopter to take a closer look. They couldn’t believe their eyes.

The Utah Department of Public Safety Aero Bureau posted a pic on Instagram of a human standing next to the silver mystery in the desert, which they say is about 10 to 15 feet tall.

https://www.instagram.com/p/CH9KTKnBEtC/

Captain Hutchings thinks that it didn’t get there from being dropped by a helicopter or a spaceship or something. And at first, they thought it was equipment from NASA, but eventually decided that it’s probably art.

“We were kind of joking around that if one of us suddenly disappears, then the rest of us make a run for it.” Hutchings said it didn’t look like it was dropped into the ground from above. It was firmly planted there.

“We were, like, thinking is this something NASA stuck up there or something. Are they bouncing satellites off it or something?” Hutchings questioned. That said, the crew decided it didn’t appear there was any scientific purpose to it. Hutchings said it looked as if it was manmade – perhaps more of an art form than any kind of alien lifeform.

“I’m assuming it’s some new wave artist or something or, you know, somebody that was a big (2001: A Space Odyssey) fan,” Hutchings said, referencing a scene in the movie.

Some thought that it might be a work from late American minimalist sculpture John McCracken, but his gallerist, David Zwirner, tells The Guardian that it’s not.

The internet has already figured out where that monolith is, but officials don’t want to say because they don’t want people getting hurt or dying from hiking into the middle of nowhere to get an Instagram picture with it.  Authorities will decide whether to investigate or not since putting structures on public land without permission is illegal.

Sure, it could be art, or aliens (but then again, why would aliens want anything to do with us trash humans), or maybe Gwyneth Paltrow happened to be hang-gliding overhead when she farted and the stick that has been longed in her ass for years finally fell out. Probably that one.

Pic: Utah Department of Public Safety Aero Bureau

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