Is The Pope (Into) Catholic (Schoolgirls With Big Asses)? The Vatican Investigates!

November 19, 2020 / Posted by:

It finally happened, The Pope is canceled! And I’m not talking about that TV show starring Jude Law. I’m talking about that old Argentinian dude who lives in Italy and always wears that funny little boob hat with a nipple on top. According to New York Daily News, The Vatican has launched an investigation into what type of ass Pope Francis gets off on after his official Instagram account “liked” a picture of a Brazilian bikini model/Twitch streamer’s juicy junk hanging out the bottom of a Catholic schoolgirl’s uniform. This is monumental. We might finally learn what floats the Pope’s boat when he’s pulling on that Pope rope.

According to NYDN:

The Vatican has launched an investigation into the pope’s Instagram account after his official page “liked” a raunchy picture of a half-clothed bikini model, according to a report

Francis’ verified account, Franciscus, was one of over 100,000 pages liking Natalia Garibotto’s photo before it abruptly “unliked” the image last week, according to the Catholic News Agency.

Sources close to the Vatican leadership told the outlet Tuesday that an internal probe is underway to determine how the “like” happened.

First of all, I have to say I was shocked to learn that The Pope only has 7.4 million followers, I thought it was supposed to be closer to a billion. Then again, Lindsay Lohan is one of them, and as with many things, quality over quantity is The Golden Rule right up there with “like unto others as you would have others like unto you.” And Pope Francis, or someone who was able to correctly guess that his IG password was “HolyButznBoobs,” liked this picture of Natalia Garibotto hella hard.

Here’s how it appears on Instagram. Need proof that God doesn’t exist? She’s pulling out The Pelican Brief instead of The Da Vinci Code. The universe is chaos.

Naturally, there are plenty of possibilities for how this could happen that would absolve The Pope of any perceived sin. For one thing, he’s got that big heavy ring. Could have just been a gravity “like“. Happens all the time. The Pope also receives lots of visitors, one of them might have diddled his iPad while he wasn’t looking. In the past five years alone, Pope Francis has hosted an entire murderer’s row of shady characters such as Katy Perry and Orlando Bloom, Mahky Mahk, Angelina Jolie, and Sandra Lee. I wouldn’t put it past any of those (alleged) pious pygophiles! NYDN notes that nobody is really sure when The Likening occurred.

The Oct. 5 photo shows Garibotto wearing a racy outfit that resembles a school uniform along with the caption, “I can teach you a thing or two,” and a happy devil emoji.

It’s not clear when the papal account liked the picture or who actually did it. Francis’ social media pages are reportedly managed by a team of staffers.

That makes sense. I didn’t think Pope Francis was coming up with all those dank memes all on his own.


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