Jeffrey Toobin Is Out At The “New Yorker” For Whipping Out His Dick During A Zoom Meeting

November 12, 2020 / Posted by:

Last month, lawyer, writer, and CNN legal analyst, Jeffrey Toobin, really whipped out some drama when he pulled his whole dick out on a Zoom call with co-workers at the New Yorker. Jeffrey was suspended from the publication but we didn’t hear much since then. Well, the New Yorker let everyone know: Jeffrey and his dick were no longer a part of their organization after he’d been with them for almost 30 years. Wow, three decades of work up in smoke after 6 inches–I mean–6 seconds.

CNN heard from multiple sources that what happened was that Jeffrey was on the Zoom call with his colleagues and then started jerking off as part of a different video call. He was staggering a work and sex video chat? That’s a recipe for disaster. CNN is now reporting that Jeffrey has been fired from the New Yorker. Chief Legal Analyst! Stan Duncan, the Chief People Officer (the fuck is that?) at Condé Nast, the New Yorker’s publisher, announced the firing in an email to employees.

“I am writing to share with you that our investigation regarding Jeffrey Toobin is complete, and as a result, he is no longer affiliated with our company. I want to assure everyone that we take workplace matters seriously. We are committed to fostering an environment where everyone feels respected and upholds our standards of conduct.”

Jeffrey hit up Twitter and confirmed he’d been canned:

 

Jeffrey declined to comment further to CNN. My favorite part of this article is the end where it says:

A spokesperson for CNN did not immediately respond to a request for comment on Toobin’s status at the network.

Yes, a CNN reporter said that CNN did not respond to CNN. (Insert Spider-Man point at himself.gif) But welp, Sorry, Jeffrey. I mean, you probably should have seen this coming. Can’t really pull your dick out in public and suffer no consequences anymore–this isn’t 2015. Maybe if your dick was nicer it would have been received better? But we can’t all be Chris Evans.

Pic: YouTube

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