Welp, Cardi B has filed documents to officially call off her divorce from Offset. Which makes these on-and-off spouses the official 21st century version of Elizabeth Taylor and Richard Burton. Sorry Brad and Jen, ya missed your chance! This is the second time Cardi called take backs on divorcing Offset. They broke up at the end of 2018 due to his wandering peen and reconciled in January 2019. But last time Cardi didn’t get as far as filing divorce papers, so this is the first time she’s legally saying, “I want you back, baby!” But wait! Cardi filed her dismissal “without prejudice”, meaning she can reserve the right to refile at a later date. My money’s on next August. Summer’s for side chicks.
Cardi filed for divorce from 2-year-old Kulture’s daddy in mid-September. Despite a bunch of sources saying Offset was still unfaithful, Cardi claimed she filed cuz of their non-stop fighting. Um, about Offset cheating? I mean, at this point, if Cardi wants him in her life, she should just come to terms with the adultery. Fish gotta swim, birds gotta fly, Offset’s gotta philander.
The couple unofficially got back together three weeks ago when they were seen kissing at her 28th birthday party. Cardi said it was because she missed having sex (can someone please tell Cardi that other [but certainly not all] men possess the ability to give her an orgasm?!). But it maaay have also had something to do with all of Offset’s “romantic gestures” (read: buying her a Rolls Royce and a bunch of Birkins). Fans gave her such a hard time for taking him back that she quit Twitter. Sigh. They’re just looking out for you, Cardi! In the words of Rachel Green’s mother, “Once a cheater, always a cheater!”
A judge still has to OK the dismissal documents to finalize Cardi’s un-filing. Maybe she’ll take one look at the docs, and say, “Nope, she’s better off without that cheater cheater pumpkin eater” and forcibly separate them. Do it for the kid, Your Honor.