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Ritz Bits S’mores!

Sometime in the 90s, Ritz decided that what snack times really needed were tiny bits of S’mores (that looked like a s’mores baby that a regular s’mores birthed out, or depending on how they tasted to you, a s’mores turd that a regular s’mores shat out). So they put out Ritz Bits S’mores. My weed-soaked brain perked up at the thought of Ritz crackers having a threesome with marshmallows and chocolate, but Ritz Bitz S’mores weren’t made up of the usual Ritz crackers. They were graham crackers. So Ritz truly said “fuck it” to staying in their lane to give us snacking s’mores.

So like I said above, Ritz Bits S’mores were just like regular Ritz sandwiches only not. Instead of Ritz crackers, it was graham crackers, and instead of cheese or peanut butter, the insides were marshmallows and chocolate. So basically, it was just a Ritz sandwich-shaped s’mores. They came out in the 90s and stuck around through the early-aughts and that’s when The Simpsons were brought in to Simpson-ify that bitch up. They stamped the mugs of The Simpsons crackers so you could eat Homer’s face:

Ritz got rid of Ritz Bits S’mores not long after The Simpsons were brought in to whore it out. So basically: BART SIMPSON KILLED RITZ BITS S’MORES. Or maybe, people’s brains and tastebuds were confused by a sweet Ritz and still tasted Ritz crackers and cheese when biting into a Ritz Bits S’mores. And honestly, it’s the worst when you wrap your mouth around something and unexpectedly get hit with some cheese. Unless that’s your kink.

Pic: eBay