Hot Slut Of The Day!
THE FLY!
You’re definitely wondering, “For why did you make a fly, a Hot Slut of the Day, Michael?” because it’s not like there’s been 999,875 articles, 10,000 parody accounts, 8,945,999 memes, and 89 zillion jokes about the fly who became the BREAKOUT POLITICAL STAR OF OUR TIME last night when it landed on the head of the cyborg that aliens built using a fourth-tier Roger Sterling wax figure and sent to earth to destroy us. A fly landed on the field of white on Mike Pence during last night’s Vice Presidential Debate and bitch is now so famous that the movie The Fly is changing its name to The Other Fly.
During the VP tussle between Kamala Harris and Lord of the Flies Mike Pence, Mike was mouth-sharting out crap about police brutality when America’s current reigning sweetheart, The Fly, landed on his head. And since he’s dead inside and out, he didn’t feel it, or he’d probably point at it and say, “See, I’ve got a Black friend!” The fly stayed on Mike Pence’s head for two whole minutes, which is probably 120 seconds longer than anyone has given him head.
the fly knew it's 2 minute limit pic.twitter.com/eNwQrxxscy
— Danielle 🏳️🌈 (@DanielleForPA) October 8, 2020
It’s a good thing that fly wasn’t a fruit fly because some fruit flies are bisexual so Mike Pence would’ve sent that bitch to conversion camp. And when the fly became the star of the night, I pinched my nose and held up a wad of toilet paper, because I knew my Twitter timeline was about to get hit with a billion “Well, flies are attracted to shit” jokes and it was. The billions who made that joke are about to get hit with cease and desists from both shit, and from the fly community for saying they have no standards when it comes to landing on shit.
Joe Biden’s campaign was quick to strike while the fly is HOT by selling a Biden fly swatter, and I don’t know if that was the best move. I mean, now Biden’s lost the highly important fly demographic by selling a weapon built to murder them:
Pitch in $5 to help this campaign fly. https://t.co/CqHAId0j8t pic.twitter.com/NbkPl0a8HV
— Joe Biden (@JoeBiden) October 8, 2020
Very fast moving from the Biden campaign: https://t.co/RS2xyEnJUD
— Edward-Isaac Dovere (@IsaacDovere) October 8, 2020
Many don’t even remember what was said at last night’s debate. They just remember THE FLY, so obviously that fly won the debate without even trying. And if flies didn’t have the lifespan of well, a fly, I’d say: THE FLY/BIRDIE SANDERS 2024!
Pic: CNN